Divorce Issue

Divorce issue, not mine. I'm well past all this. A friend's question.
Spouse 1 (S1) wants a divorce. S2 agrees, let's do this. S1 puts into the draft marital settlement agreement (MSA} that S1 gets to attend all of their offsprings' birthday parties that are hosted by S2. S2 says, that's just wrong to put into an MSA. My view, it is unreasonable to force someone to invite someone else into their home for whatever reason, and it will not be enforceable.

Thoughts?

Originally posted by JS357
Divorce issue, not mine. I'm well past all this. A friend's question.
Spouse 1 (S1) wants a divorce. S2 agrees, let's do this. S1 puts into the draft marital settlement agreement (MSA} that S1 gets to attend all of their offsprings' birthday parties that are hosted by S2. S2 says, that's just wrong to put into an MSA. My view, it is unreasonable to force som ...[text shortened]... e someone else into their home for whatever reason, and it will not be enforceable.

Thoughts?

S2 is a dick(dickess?).

I know plenty of couples who have divorced but can still be amicable where the children are concerned.

Originally posted by JS357
Divorce issue, not mine. I'm well past all this. A friend's question.
Spouse 1 (S1) wants a divorce. S2 agrees, let's do this. S1 puts into the draft marital settlement agreement (MSA} that S1 gets to attend all of their offsprings' birthday parties that are hosted by S2. S2 says, that's just wrong to put into an MSA. My view, it is unreasonable to force som ...[text shortened]... e someone else into their home for whatever reason, and it will not be enforceable.

Thoughts?

A friend on mine had a bitter divorce and both parents refuse to ever do anything together. Their daughter is of the age where they have a religious ceremony. Now, they are going to do the same ceremony twice, (simply because neither parent will attend the other parent's ceremony.) This seems crazy too.
I have no solution, other than it probably is better for the child, if parents can cooperate.

Originally posted by JS357
Divorce issue, not mine. I'm well past all this. A friend's question.
Spouse 1 (S1) wants a divorce. S2 agrees, let's do this. S1 puts into the draft marital settlement agreement (MSA} that S1 gets to attend all of their offsprings' birthday parties that are hosted by S2. S2 says, that's just wrong to put into an MSA. My view, it is unreasonable to force som ...[text shortened]... e someone else into their home for whatever reason, and it will not be enforceable.

Thoughts?

all major events in the child's life should include both parents, no matter their relation with each other.

s1 simply wants to make sure that should s2 get pissed at him/her for whatever reason, s1 would still be able to attend major events without s2 exercising primary guardian privilege or whatever. i am assuming this isn't an issue in a joint custody.

Originally posted by JS357
Divorce issue, not mine. I'm well past all this. A friend's question.
Spouse 1 (S1) wants a divorce. S2 agrees, let's do this. S1 puts into the draft marital settlement agreement (MSA} that S1 gets to attend all of their offsprings' birthday parties that are hosted by S2. S2 says, that's just wrong to put into an MSA. My view, it is unreasonable to force som ...[text shortened]... e someone else into their home for whatever reason, and it will not be enforceable.

Thoughts?

That sort of provision is common in divorce or custody agreements. It's certainly enforceable if agreed to. "Right" or "wrong" has nothing to do with it. If it's agreed to, it's agreed to. Why would S2 sign the agreement if s/he doesn't want to abide by its terms?

Originally posted by sh76
That sort of provision is common in divorce or custody agreements. It's certainly enforceable if agreed to. "Right" or "wrong" has nothing to do with it. If it's agreed to, it's agreed to. Why would S2 sign the agreement if s/he doesn't want to abide by its terms?

If I were the attorney, I would advise against building walls that may have to be torn down later. When there are children there is a likelihood of grandchildren, and uncountable family functions, which can be ignored or not so long as legal barriers aren't erected.

The post that was quoted here has been removed

You know what he meant - don't be so pedantic! 😠

Originally posted by JS357
Divorce issue, not mine. I'm well past all this. A friend's question.
Spouse 1 (S1) wants a divorce. S2 agrees, let's do this. S1 puts into the draft marital settlement agreement (MSA} that S1 gets to attend all of their offsprings' birthday parties that are hosted by S2. S2 says, that's just wrong to put into an MSA. My view, it is unreasonable to force som ...[text shortened]... e someone else into their home for whatever reason, and it will not be enforceable.

Thoughts?

It is reasonable. Of course I would provide for analogue case also (S2 gets to attend off all offsprings birthday parties hosted by S1).

If it was a one sided article I would not agree. Lopsided contarcts will be a source for problems any time.

As some argued about the childrens rights: Yes the child could decide if they want to invute their (other) parent. But it should not be the case that one parent excludes the other.
And of course if the will of the child has to be considered a lot of parents don't hesitate to (at least try) to turn their childs opinion against theiir former spuse. No contract will prevent that.

After all that hassle: of course most divorced couples I know found a decent way of behaviour without being forced to g for lengthy contracts. But there are exmpales which my quill won't report...

Originally posted by JS357
Divorce issue, not mine. I'm well past all this. A friend's question.
Spouse 1 (S1) wants a divorce. S2 agrees, let's do this. S1 puts into the draft marital settlement agreement (MSA} that S1 gets to attend all of their offsprings' birthday parties that are hosted by S2. S2 says, that's just wrong to put into an MSA. My view, it is unreasonable to force som ...[text shortened]... e someone else into their home for whatever reason, and it will not be enforceable.

Thoughts?

Parents should put the best interests of their children ahead of their own bitterness and animosity. Anything less is the height of selfishness. Such selfishness will come back to bite them down the road when they find themselves left out of the lives of adult children who will spend their happy times with the in-laws.