Data Fly's idea (Scheme 14) of kidnapping one of the Royal Family was the worst failure.
We ended up nabbing the wrong person, a poor house wife from Dover
who looked a little bit the like Queen. We let her go after a few hours so
she could go home and make her husband's tea.
Scheme 21. Pretend I'm Carlsen, charge £5,000 for a simultaneous display,
turn up covered in badages saying I'm sunburnt nearly worked.
But I lost every game on every board and the organisers refused to pay up.
Scheme 29. Sell a fake copy of Fischer's autograph for £10,00 worked!
But we were paid in counterfeit money. The fact they were £8.00 notes
did not register with Marinkatomb who we sent to collect the money and
Paul Leggett is still in prison because he actually tried to use one.
The list goes on and on. All miserable failures.
I need a more capable gang instead of the inapt RHP players I am in with.
I walked in to a chess congress a couple of years ago, claiming design rights over the Queens on all of the boards. I confiscated them, demanding £5 per Queen licence fee to use them for that day.
That failed when they quickly produced a box of old plastic rooks and turned them upside down..
Originally posted by Duncan Clarke Scheme 11 (a) failed for me.
I walked in to a chess congress a couple of years ago, claiming design rights over the Queens on all of the boards. I confiscated them, demanding £5 per Queen licence fee to use them for that day.
That failed when they quickly produced a box of old plastic rooks and turned them upside down..
I was once persuaded that if there were no rooks
off you could not promote to a second queen!
Legally change your name to Bobby Fischer. Then write some half baked chess books. Like, Bobby Fischer Teaches Chess 2 and My 60 unforgettable games. Some other book ideas, My Systems, Think Like A Tree...erm that wont sell, I know, Think like an International Master. One more The Art of the Immortal Game, any chess books that starts with "The Art of" is guaranteed sales.
It's near Christmas, think of all the non chess players buying books for their chess playing friends/family. This scheme will work I'm sure of it.
Spend a few hours in make up and at a hairdresser and wear elevator shoes.
Turn up at Kramnik's next tournament a day early saying you are Kramnik.
Grab his appearance money and run away.
(I bet there is a market for Famous Chess Player Christmas cards they would be
very easy to knock up.......too late for this year but watch E-Bay nezt year.)