I'm going to make America great again. Trust me.
I'm going to build a wall. It will be the greatest wall ever. Trust me.
And Mexico is going to pay for it. Trust me.
Originally posted by coquette I'm going to make America great again. Trust me.
I'm going to build a wall. It will be the greatest wall ever. Trust me.
And Mexico is going to pay for it. Trust me.
"It doesn't make any sense. The insurance model doesn't work here, ObamaCare "works fine" for people with "modest" incomes eligible for government subsidies but that "the people that are getting killed in this deal are small business people and individuals who make just a little too much to get any of these subsidies. You’ve got this crazy system where all of a sudden 25 million more people have health care and then the people are out there busting it, sometimes 60 hours a week, wind up with their premiums doubled and their coverage cut in half,” Clinton said. “It’s the craziest thing in the world.”
Funniest and sadest thing I've ever read. And yes, Hillary supported Obamacare.
COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America.
ABBOTT: Good Subject. Terrible Times. It's 5.6%.
COSTELLO: That many people are out of work?
ABBOTT: No, that's 23%.
COSTELLO: You just said 5.6%.
ABBOTT: 5.6% Unemployed.
COSTELLO: Right 5.6% out of work.
ABBOTT: No, that's 23%.
COSTELLO: Okay, so it's 23% unemployed.
ABBOTT: No, that's 5.6%.
COSTELLO: WAIT A MINUTE......Is it 5.6% or 23%?
ABBOTT: 5.6% are unemployed. 23% are out of work.
COSTELLO: If you are out of work, you are unemployed.
ABBOTT: No, Obama said you can't count the "Out of Work" as the unemployed. You have to look for work to be unemployed.
COSTELLO: BUT THEY ARE OUT OF WORK!!!
ABBOTT: No, you miss his point.
COSTELLO: What point?
ABBOTT: Someone who doesn't look for work can't be counted with those who look for work. It wouldn't be fair.
COSTELLO: To whom?
ABBOTT: The unemployed.
COSTELLO: But ALL of them are out of work.
ABBOTT: No, the unemployed are actively looking for work. Those who are out of work gave up looking and if you give up, you are no longer in the ranks of the unemployed.
COSTELLO: So if you're off the unemployment roles that would count as less unemployment?
ABBOTT: Unemployment would go down. Absolutely!
COSTELLO: The unemployment just goes down because you don't look for work?
ABBOTT: Absolutely it goes down. That's how it gets to 5.6%. Otherwise it would be 23%.
COSTELLO: Wait, I got a question for you. That means there are two ways to bring down the unemployment number?
ABBOTT: Two ways is correct.
COSTELLO: Unemployment can go down if someone gets a job?
ABBOTT: Correct.
COSTELLO: And unemployment can also go down if you stop looking for a job?
ABBOTT: Bingo.
COSTELLO: So there are two ways to bring unemployment down, and the easier of the two is to have people stop looking for work.
So this guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey and orders a drink. As he does his pet monkey jumps up and runs over to the pool table where he promptly grabs the cue ball and swallows it whole. The bartender yells, "Your monkey just ate my cue ball!" The man finishes his drink, apologizes, and then pays for the drink and the cue ball and leaves.
The next day the man returns with his monkey. The bartender looks at him and says, "You better watch that monkey of yours or he will put you in the poor house. The monkey then looks up at the bartender, runs over to a bowl of cherries, and promptly inserts it in his rear before eating it. The bartender looks up in disbelief and says, "That is the most disgusting thing I've ever seen! Why did he do that? To which the man replied, "He now measures things before eating them"
Originally posted by whodey I'm gonna give everyone affordable health care, trust me!
All your premiums will do down, trust me!
You will be able to keep your doctor and health care insurance, trust me!
Dr goes up to his patient in hospital and says " sorry sir, i have some good news and bad "
" what's the bad news ?" (patient)
" I had to chop off both your feet " (Dr)
" Oh no !, what's the good news ?" ( patient)
" the man in the next bed would like to buy your slippers " replied the Doc
Comes the man to the doctor because of red spots on the penis.
The doctor Looks in a book and reads:
orange sposts. amputate
green spots: amputate
blue spots: amputate
red spost no Need to amputate
The man breathes in relief.
The doctor continues: Will fall off from own accord.
Do you know why they banned the 10 Commandments in the court houses in the US?
They said it was an issue of separation of church and state, but the real reason is you can't post, "Thou shalt not steal", "Thou shanlt not commit adultery", and "Thou shalt not lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.
One Sunday at my church the preacher stood up and said "anyone with a special need come forward and I will pray for your special need". Well Leroy comes up to the altar and the preacher says, "Leroy, what is your special need" and Leroy says "Preacher, I need help with my hearing" And the preacher says, ok Leroy, lets pray for your hearing. And he starts praying. And he prayed and prayed and got louder and louder and the congregation joined in and started praying for Leroy' hearing. After about 30 minutes of praying the preacher said "Well Leroy, did that help with your hearing?" And Leroy replied "I don't know Preacher, my hearing ain't until Friday"
A friend of mine was a philosophy major during his first semester in college. One day in a seminar class, they spent a great deal of time debating whether the glass was half full or half empty. After the class, my friend was feeling pretty good about himself and what he was learning at university, so when he went home, he tried to continue the discussion with his family.
With maximum drama, he took a 12 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured in 6 ounces of water. Then took it into the dining room and placed it in the middle of the table. He proudly asked his family, "Can anyone tell me whether this glass is half full or half empty." Without missing a beat, his grandmother replied, "Depends if you're drinking or pouring."
Jokes
06 Oct '16 16:09
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