Stupid quotes

"The era of big government is now over"

- President Bill Clinton

Quotes from Insurance Forms:

"The car in front hit the pedestrian, but he got up so I hit him again."

"In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."

"I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."

"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."

"I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight."

"I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the bonnet. I realized the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket."

"I've abandoned free market principles to save the free market system"

Bush 43

Originally posted by whodey
"I've abandoned free market principles to save the free market system"

Bush 43

Everything GWB said was stupid and none of it is worth quoting.

"These aren't my pants."

Dallas man with meth in pocket

"Everything GWB said was stupid and none of it is worth quoting."

- divegeester

"We have learned that chemistry is not an exact science,"
-Mario Andrada

I was offered sex with a 21 year old girl today. In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a person with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available with scented lemon or vanilla.

Originally posted by whodey

Anything following those four words.

Originally posted by vivify
Anything following those four words.

😠

Everything I ever said. 😞

Originally posted by josephw
Everything I ever said. 😞

Don't be so hard on yourself

Your problem is that you are not an enlightened secular humanist Hillary tool that is the source of all truthiness in the universe.

Originally posted by whodey
Don't be so hard on yourself

Your problem is that you are not an enlightened secular humanist Hillary tool that is the source of all truthiness in the universe.

Just for you I hope Hillary gets 8 years and then Chelsea for 8 years....

Originally posted by whodey
I was offered sex with a 21 year old girl today. In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a person with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available with scented lemon or vanilla.

Eh, what's 5 years between 'friends'?

Originally posted by sonhouse
Just for you I hope Hillary gets 8 years and then Chelsea for 8 years....

I regret that I only have one thumb up to give this.