Rude players

I need to know what the etiquette is when you start a game; I always send a message to the opponent to acknowledge them, a brief "Hi and good luck" or the same in the opponent's own language if they're not English speakers.

I get three types of response, in order of frequency:


a) a friendly " good luck to you too" message. 60%
b) no message 35%
c) a cynical response ( they don't like the good luck bit ) 5%


It grates me when I get no response. Acknowledging your opponent is the most basic civil thing to do, so why are so many players so bloody rude?

Originally posted by FrenchQueen
I need to know what the etiquette is when you start a game; I always send a message to the opponent to acknowledge them, a brief "Hi and good luck" or the same in the opponent's own language if they're not English speakers.

I get three types of response, in order of frequency:


a) a friendly " good luck to you too" message. 60%
b) no message 35 ...[text shortened]... opponent is the most basic civil thing to do, so why are so many players so bloody rude?

I use to wonder the same thing. I must admit thow that more than once someone has sent me a message in a game and I hit the submit move button before responding. Being in a hurry, or concentrating hard on moves and games. Then they don't move for a couple days, and then when they do move again, I forget again to reply to their message. I can assure you I was not trying to be rude. Now I don't send any message unless they send me one first. If they send me one first, I try to remember to respond before I make my move.
Also I play on several chess sites, And I don't know why, but Redhotpawn seems to have more rude jerks on this site than all the other chess sites combined. I have not had one problem on any other chess sites with people being rude. Not One. But on Redhotpawn I have had several. I stay here at redhotpawn because I think it is a high quality chess site. And I have no problem brushing off jerks.
So if they respond to you, great. If they don't, just brush it off and play the game. And remember maybe they just forgot to respond. 🙂

Originally posted by FrenchQueen
I need to know what the etiquette is when you start a game; I always send a message to the opponent to acknowledge them, a brief "Hi and good luck" or the same in the opponent's own language if they're not English speakers.

I get three types of response, in order of frequency:


a) a friendly " good luck to you too" message. 60%
b) no message 35 ...[text shortened]... opponent is the most basic civil thing to do, so why are so many players so bloody rude?

I usually start a game with good luck or such.
Often I get a greeting back.
Sometimes I get a good luck.
Sometimes I forget to write the back-greeting.

The greeting is good. It reminds me that it is a living person at the other side of the board, actually playing with me, not just any computer program.

What is the etiquette when the game is finished?
When resigning, is it customary to send a comment, like 'I'm dead, thanks for the game' or something?

Originally posted by FabianFnas
I usually start a game with good luck or such.
Often I get a greeting back.
Sometimes I get a good luck.
Sometimes I forget to write the back-greeting.

The greeting is good. It reminds me that it is a living person at the other side of the board, actually playing with me, not just any computer program.

What is the etiquette when the game is finis ...[text shortened]... igning, is it customary to send a comment, like 'I'm dead, thanks for the game' or something?

Before I resign, I like to tell them in the move prior...
Thanks for the game would love to play again I will resign after your next move...

That way I know my final message was read.

Some times I think players have to many games going and simply do not post an in game message do to that. I myself can handle a lot of on going conversations over a long range of time but some other may not be able to. Hope this came through clear enough.

Originally posted by FabianFnas


The greeting is good. It reminds me that it is a living person at the other side of the board, actually playing with me, not just any computer program.

Exactly.

I'm only talking about the initial greeting, it's nice if at least they greet you at the beginning of the game.

After that, if they want to chat, then it's fine by me, it's fine also if they don't and I won't initiate a conversation.

Originally posted by FabianFnas


What is the etiquette when the game is finished?
When resigning, is it customary to send a comment, like 'I'm dead, thanks for the game' or something?

If I'm winning, I will just play my last move and then send the player a PM, asking whether they want a re-match or simply thanking them for the game. If I'm losing, I will probably send a comment and congratulate my opponent.

Originally posted by KingDavid403
I use to wonder the same thing. I must admit thow that more than once someone has sent me a message in a game and I hit the submit move button before responding. Being in a hurry, or concentrating hard on moves and games. Then they don't move for a couple days, and then when they do move again, I forget again to reply to their message. I can assure ...[text shortened]... , just brush it off and play the game. And remember maybe they just forgot to respond. 🙂

This is the only chess site I use.
I do forget to message my opponent too during the game sometimes... but I always make a point of sending them a greeting at the beginning of the game or responding to their greeting.

Originally posted by FrenchQueen
This is the only chess site I use.
I do forget to message my opponent too during the game sometimes... but I always make a point of sending them a greeting at the beginning of the game or responding to their greeting.

I use to allways send a greeting at the start of a game. I don't anymore for the same reasons you started this thread. I do allways respond to a greeting if I remember. I do not wish anyone good luck in our game anymore because I do not really mean it. lol actually I wish them bad luck in our game and I hope they give me their queen in a blonde moment. lol Truth be told. But I do wish a good and enjoyable game. 🙂

Originally posted by KingDavid403
I use to allways send a greeting at the start of a game. I don't anymore for the same reasons you started this thread. I do allways respond to a greeting if I remember. I do not wish anyone good luck in our game anymore because I do not really mean it. lol actually I wish them bad luck in our game and I hope they give me their queen in a blonde moment. lol Truth be told. But I do wish a good and enjoyable game. 🙂

When I wish them luck, I don't really mean it either, (especially in clan games) lol 😉

Originally posted by KingDavid403
I use to wonder the same thing. I must admit thow that more than once someone has sent me a message in a game and I hit the submit move button before responding. Being in a hurry, or concentrating hard on moves and games. Then they don't move for a couple days, and then when they do move again, I forget again to reply to their message. I can assure ...[text shortened]... , just brush it off and play the game. And remember maybe they just forgot to respond. 🙂

rec'd and well said. More people like these two first posters in this thread - RHP would be much friendlier place. There are folks here that are either Chess Snobs, old boy network, or somehow think they are elite and its cool to talk down to people or be rude, when in fact they are just revealing their own poor character. I have learned to ignore people like that - its important who you are - fact of life there are others out there - dont let them get to you.

some people are just jerks, for lack of a better, albeit inappropriate, word

Originally posted by impatient
rec'd and well said. More people like these two first posters in this thread - RHP would be much friendlier place. There are folks here that are either Chess Snobs, old boy network, or somehow think they are elite and its cool to talk down to people or be rude, when in fact they are just revealing their own poor character. I have learned to ignore peop ...[text shortened]... its important who you are - fact of life there are others out there - dont let them get to you.

I still try to start my games with a "Howdy, and good luck!" Haven't experienced a rude response to it yet, although I've been ignored plenty of times.

I'd like to point out that there's a difference between game playing etiquette and forum posting etiquette. They are two different things. It's hard for me to fathom how someone could play in an "old boy network" way.

In forums, though, I observe in myself and others what might be termed a Neo-Augustan perspective: that arts and arms are part of the same package. That is to say, you should be able to express yourself clearly, imaginatively and with rhetorical impact (arts), and at the same time hold your own playing chess (arms).

This is why some chess clans require that prospective members play a game with a clan member to see how they do, and some actually subject applicants to a series of questions, to see if they can think their way out of a wet paper bag or not.

For many people, "flyting" or artful trash-talking is an accepted and welcome part of the online environment. It is, of course, much less enjoyable for those who don't express themselves well in writing.

Originally posted by FrenchQueen
I need to know what the etiquette is when you start a game; I always send a message to the opponent to acknowledge them, a brief "Hi and good luck" or the same in the opponent's own language if they're not English speakers.

I get three types of response, in order of frequency:


a) a friendly " good luck to you too" message. 60%
b) no message 35 ...[text shortened]... opponent is the most basic civil thing to do, so why are so many players so bloody rude?

I usually reply in kind but don't tend to initiate unless it's a player who I have come accross a few times (which happens in the clan leagues a lot) or it's the final of a tournament. For rudeness Yahoo has to win a prize, not only do players ignore you, insults are very common, especially from americans for some strange reason, the other side of this is that I also find the most polite/friendly are americans too. This is merely an observation and is not meant as an attack on americans, as I tend to judge (if that's the right word) people as individuals not collectively

Originally posted by stevetodd
I usually reply in kind but don't tend to initiate unless it's a player who I have come accross a few times (which happens in the clan leagues a lot) or it's the final of a tournament. For rudeness Yahoo has to win a prize, not only do players ignore you, insults are very common, especially from americans for some strange reason, the other side of this is ...[text shortened]... ricans, as I tend to judge (if that's the right word) people as individuals not collectively

I agree with what you say about Americans players. Having played many people from the USA, I can say they're noticeably more informal/friendly than British players for example. They usually respond to my initial greeting; on the other hand, the British are the ones that ignore me the most often; I can't say I'm surprised as I've got used to their ways.

The worst example of rudeness I've come accross on this site was when I was playing someone (USA) with a much higher rating who'd accepted my open invite: he'd seen my rating so knew what he was letting himself in for (an easy ride). Towards the middle of the game, out of the blue, he proceeded to send comments along the lines of " why on earth did you move your knight to e4? what did you do that for? you should have played blah blah blah.. ". His unsolicited comments/opinions felt more like put downs than constructive advice and I ignored him for the rest of the game.
Fortunately, I've not come accross other patronising morons like him, I'm glad to say 🙂

Originally posted by FrenchQueen
I agree with what you say about Americans players. Having played many people from the USA, I can say they're noticeably more informal/friendly than British players for example. They usually respond to my initial greeting; on the other hand, the British are the ones that ignore me the most often; I can't say I'm surprised as I've got used to their ways.

Sorry to hear you've had some poor manners from some of my countrymen [or women] I can only say, we are not all like that. I always reply to a message, unless I haven't seen it of course.