RHP Prose 2009 VOTING THREAD

Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
1. Dealer's Choice - I typically don't care for such a conversational narrative style, but, this one I found appealing and reread several times. One is left with a sense of impeding conflict and an desire to know more. I can see a myriad of stories blossoming from this well crafted scenario.

2. Unleashed - Reminiscent of a George Berkeley take on ...[text shortened]... tradition and, in fact, should be severely beaten with a burlap sack full of rotton haddock.

I want a list of th6e talentless h6ack prose!

1. Midnight Special
2. Unleashed
3. Return Journey


There were a few really good ones here. Midnight Special was interesting and provocative, but like Hand said, it left me feeling unsure of why it appealed to me so much, yet it was my favorite. I would like to hear more from the writer of that story as to the idea that led he/she there.
Unleashed was captivating in a dismal and emotive way. I wondered, what next? What happens to that young man?
Third place was almost a tie for me with The Hungry Hand of God. I always prefer the darkness of human nature portrayed in stories and better yet, the ugly reality of death and/or the supernatural. But in this case, I was won over by Return Journey for its simple beauty and charm. I don't know why the last part got to me - about the tomato bush - but it did. Anyway, I appreciated the observations made in that one, none of them really connected, but woven together in a lovely way.

Good job!

Originally posted by ChronicLeaky
I want a list of th6e talentless h6ack prose!

Where's your vote?

Per your request, a brief review of each story I did not vote upon follows:

An Affair - Can I buy a vowel? Go back to reading Cosmo and watching Oprah.
Hand of God - Film Noir douchery. Kill yourself.
Edgar's - Long winded git. Try reading the instructions ass hat.
Blight - Are you calling me fat? Jesus Christ that sucked dead goat bollox.
Entering St. Jude - Marginally coherent effort. Thanks.
Percival - I loathe Percival and would have wiped my ass with him.
500 Words - Unimaginative, lame, mind numbing. I struggle for words to describe how much you suck.
My Doll - If only surfing for sodomy was an Olympic sport.
Cipla - Holy crap that's a boring piece of crap.
Return - I'm poorer for having read this. Thanks for nothing.
Slime - A glimmer of potential followed by flushable content.
Interview - Obviously written by a self important douche.
Untitled - Illiterate twit. Shotguns fire shot or slugs, not bullets, at least have the decency to kill your character in something bordering a plausible fashion.
Writer's block - Retard. Hit yourself in the groin with a brick.
Metal detecting - Should be sodomized with a metal detector.
Burnt Toast - Moderately acceptable effort.
Two letter - Insipid dolt. I'd love to light you on fire and put you out with a shovel for making me read that.

You're welcome.

Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
Where's your vote?

Per your request, a brief review of each story I did not vote upon follows:

An Affair - Can I buy a vowel? Go back to reading Cosmo and watching Oprah.
Hand of God - Film Noir douchery. Kill yourself.
Edgar's - Long winded git. Try reading the instructions ass hat.
Blight - Are you calling me fat? Jesus Christ that sucke ...[text shortened]... ght you on fire and put you out with a shovel for making me read that.

You're welcome.

Excellent! I h6ope everyone else reads th6ese as carefully as you h6ave.

Originally posted by ChronicLeaky
Excellent! I h6ope everyone else reads th6ese as carefully as you h6ave.

What's3.142 with the ra5ndom numbe#rs?

Originally posted by Hand of Hecate
What's3.142 with the ra5ndom numbe#rs?

My wh6ole computer is in its death6 th6roes. Seriously, th6e fan is g5urg5ling5 like an emph6ysema patient. I'-m too lazy to delete th6e random g5ibberish6.

1. Blight
2. Percival the Sandwich
3. The Hungry Hand of God

Comments to follow whenever the OFFICIAL JUDGING COMMENT IMPASSE is sorted out.

1. Metal Detecting Dad's Head.

Sublime bathos. Repays rereading!

2. Blight.

There is a movement in the imagery that leaves me well satisfied.

3. Unleashed.

A wilful descent into psychosis? The ironies of volatilisation? Does the writer have insider knowledge? I suspect so.

Honourable mention:
Hand of God. Very good writing strangely marred by the cliched ending.