Debates Forum

Debates Forum

  1. Zugzwang
    Joined
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    25 Mar '19 23:002 edits
    In 2018, Jameela Jamil *earlier* revealed that she was raped on a date.
    According to what she described, she did not consent and also did
    not resist because she 'froze' when she was taken by surprise.

    https://www.theguardian.com/world/shortcuts/2019/mar/25/being-a-woman-is-scary-the-unspoken-danger-of-declining-a-mans-advances

    "‘Being a woman is scary’: the unspoken danger of declining a man’s advances.
    It shouldn’t be a problem for women to decline attention from men,
    but it often is, as Jameela Jamil’s experiences show."

    "When the actor Jameela Jamil tweeted about her negative experiences of
    rejecting unwanted advances, she unleashed a torrent of similar stories from
    other women. Many men, on the other hand, seemed completely shocked."

    "Her experience is the end result of a breathtakingly sexist assumption
    (perpetuated by media, advertising and our wider culture) that women
    exist primarily as potential partners for heterosexual men, that they owe
    men their time and attention without question, and that they are
    rude, arrogant or ungrateful if they dare to decline sexual attention."

    "It is extremely common for women to adopt coping mechanisms and
    evasive strategies (such as evoking the spectre of alternative “male ownership”
    in the form of a boyfriend or a husband) to try to escape such situations safely."

    When going out, sometimes it seems safer for an unmarried woman
    to put on a fake 'wedding ring', hoping to preempt unwelcome advances.
    Rejecting such advances can result in a woman being raped or murdered.

    P.S. Within a few minutes of posting, the trolls are out with their 'thumbs down'.
  2. SubscriberSuzianne
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    25 Mar '19 23:10
    @duchess64 said
    In 2018, Jameela Jamil *earlier* revealed that she was raped on a date.
    According to what she described, she did not consent and also did
    not resist because she 'froze' when she was taken by surprise.

    https://www.theguardian.com/world/shortcuts/2019/mar/25/being-a-woman-is-scary-the-unspoken-danger-of-declining-a-mans-advances

    "‘Being a woman is scary’: the unspoke ...[text shortened]... preempt unwelcome advances.
    Rejecting such advances can result in a woman being raped or murdered.
    I would advise any woman to take some kind of self-defense classes. What you highlight in your article is kind of a "well, duh" moment for most women, I do not know any of my female friends who has not felt the fear these kinds of encounters can bring up. Most also have had at least one episode where, in their words, "it got really bad", leading to the possibility of a PTSD-like response (the freezing when it happens).

    Self-defense classes not only help women to prepare for this, but also give them the confidence needed to take action. I speak from experience.
  3. Joined
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    25 Mar '19 23:25
    @suzianne said
    I would advise any woman to take some kind of self-defense classes. What you highlight in your article is kind of a "well, duh" moment for most women, I do not know any of my female friends who has not felt the fear these kinds of encounters can bring up. Most also have had at least one episode where, in their words, "it got really bad", leading to the possibility of a PTS ...[text shortened]... prepare for this, but also give them the confidence needed to take action. I speak from experience.
    Freak physical self defense classes. But a gun, get a concealed carry (or don't) and learn how to use it safely. Wadda you gonna do when there multiple perps? As for douchess. Yo ever gonna get off the man hating sheet?
  4. Zugzwang
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    25 Mar '19 23:293 edits
    @suzianne said
    I would advise any woman to take some kind of self-defense classes. What you highlight in your article is kind of a "well, duh" moment for most women, I do not know any of my female friends who has not felt the fear these kinds of encounters can bring up. Most also have had at least one episode where, in their words, "it got really bad", leading to the possibility of a PTS ...[text shortened]... prepare for this, but also give them the confidence needed to take action. I speak from experience.
    It's a good recommendation, with the caveat that it's unrealistic to expect every woman
    to become a martial arts expert. A self-defense course should not lead to overconfidence.
    Some women who were skilled in martial arts were raped (often on dates) in situations
    where they were taken by surprise and did not expect to have to defend themselves.

    A woman may be most vulnerable around a man (or men) whom she already trusts.
    The 'freezing' comes from the time needed for her to process the shocking reality
    that he's not the 'gentleman' whom she assumed that he was. She may feel inhibited
    from applying violent techniques of self-defense against a man whom she had
    previously respected, admired, or even loved. She may prefer to rationalize it as
    a 'misunderstanding' (perhaps blaming herself) before she attempts anything as
    committal as striking his groin, which would end any friendship that she had with him.
    So by the time that she makes up her mind that she's about to be raped and she
    had better do something about it, it may already be too late.

    On one occasion, a much bigger and stronger man, who's a martial arts expert,
    offered to teach me something about self-defense. First, he asked me to hit him
    as hard as I could in his chest. Socialized to be 'nice', I said that I could not do that.
    Why not? "Because I'm worried that I could hurt you." He just laughed and asked me to try.
    So I half-heartedly landed a feeble blow against his chest. He just grinned at me.
    "Try again, girl, you can hit harder than that." So then I tried to hit him harder.
    Of course, my blow never landed. He intercepted my hand and effortlessly swept
    me off my feet and threw me down onto the floor. Within a few seconds, I was
    on my back (my dress up) with him on top of me, straddling and mounting me.
    I was stunned and felt helpless. He explained that he was just demonstrating how
    easy it would be for a man to take advantage of me and rape me if he pleased.
    And that's why it was important for me to learn how to fight back.

    When I looked into his eyes, however, his gaze was not only in a teacher / student relationship.
    He said that he had fondly perceived me as a very attractive, desirable young woman.
    He said that he often had dreamed or fantasized about making love to me.
    And now he (growing excited) was in such a position, with us alone together.
    I knew that it would be hopeless to resist. So I told him that if that's ALL (fulfilling
    his sexual fantasy) that he ever desired of me, then he had the power to take me.
    But that would be ALL that he ever could get from me; I would give him nothing more.
    He would lose my friendship, respect, and everything good that we had in common.
    Would that be worth it? After a while, he settled down and helped me get up.
    He apologized and asked me to forgive him, which I did. He asked me if I wanted
    to continue my lesson, but I was too shaken by what I had learned to continue.
    If he had been a different man, then my experience could have been much worse.
  5. SubscriberSuzianne
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    25 Mar '19 23:31
    @kquinn909 said
    Freak physical self defense classes. But a gun, get a concealed carry (or don't) and learn how to use it safely. Wadda you gonna do when there multiple perps? As for douchess. Yo ever gonna get off the man hating sheet?
    Ignorance at its worst.

    Blanket statements don't represent truth.

    Btw, I have a CC permit. And a black belt.

    Guess which one helps me most?
  6. SubscriberWajoma
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    25 Mar '19 23:36
    @suzianne said
    Ignorance at its worst.

    Blanket statements don't represent truth.

    Btw, I have a CC permit. And a black belt.

    Guess which one helps me most?
    Your weight?
  7. Joined
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    25 Mar '19 23:48
    @suzianne said
    Ignorance at its worst.

    Blanket statements don't represent truth.

    Btw, I have a CC permit. And a black belt.

    Guess which one helps me most?
    LOL. In what discipline? And isn't a black belt racist? You crack me up.
  8. Zugzwang
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    25 Mar '19 23:541 edit
    @kquinn909 said
    Freak physical self defense classes. But a gun, get a concealed carry (or don't) and learn how to use it safely. Wadda you gonna do when there multiple perps? As for douchess. Yo ever gonna get off the man hating sheet?
    (Kquinn909 replied to Suzianne.)

    Women tend to be irritated by such condescending comments from know-it-all men.

    Obviously, it's impossible for a woman (or a man) to defend herself in every possible situation.
    Why should she do when her aspiring rapist has his gun aimed at her before she can draw hers?
  9. Subscriberchessturd
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    26 Mar '19 02:071 edit
    @wajoma said
    Your weight?
    LMAO
    That comment had me laughing to the point of snot bubbles.
    Too funny.
  10. SubscriberSuzianne
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    26 Mar '19 02:34
    @kquinn909 said
    LOL. In what discipline? And isn't a black belt racist? You crack me up.
    Shuri-ryū karate, with a bujutsu specialism in Dual Tanbō. I am 6th Dan, and I have no plans to go higher, since in my ryu 7th Dan and higher are mainly ceremonial, and karate-ka are expected to teach at this point. But I have been forbidden to teach my ryu, since I went 'rouge' and have adapted my technique with other ryu. If I do decide to teach, the Shuri-ryū would not recognize me.

    I've been trained in anti-gun techniques, and I have no qualms in taking guns away from little boys who think they need them to be men.
  11. Subscriberchessturd
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    26 Mar '19 02:48
    It's official.
    I love this chick.
    Please kick my ass. 🙂
  12. SubscriberSuzianne
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    26 Mar '19 03:50
    @suzianne said
    Shuri-ryū karate, with a bujutsu specialism in Dual Tanbō. I am 6th Dan, and I have no plans to go higher, since in my ryu 7th Dan and higher are mainly ceremonial, and karate-ka are expected to teach at this point. But I have been forbidden to teach my ryu, since I went 'rouge' and have adapted my technique with other ryu. If I do decide to teach, the Shuri-ryū would not ...[text shortened]... iques, and I have no qualms in taking guns away from little boys who think they need them to be men.
    Sorry, I misspoke and used the term bujutsu when I meant kobudo, obviously. I felt I had to come back and correct myself because I just wanted to avoid the "you're full of it" people.
  13. SubscriberWajoma
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    26 Mar '19 06:281 edit
    I know karate, judo and...



    ...many other japanese words
  14. SubscriberVery Rusty
    Treat Everyone Equal
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    26 Mar '19 10:421 edit
    @suzianne said
    Ignorance at its worst.

    Blanket statements don't represent truth.

    Btw, I have a CC permit. And a black belt.

    Guess which one helps me most?
    Confidence is a nice thing to have. Until a confrontation one does not know exactly what they would do as they don't know what circumstances would be.

    Have you stopped to consider the people attacking you may also have a gun or other weapons. 3 on one are not good odds, you may get one, but you will go down.

    Two of my brothers are in Martial Arts. Neither would want to go up against a gun. Neither of them figure they are faster than a speeding bullet. By the way both have their black belts one is also an instructer and teaches others.

    -VR
  15. Joined
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    26 Mar '19 11:032 edits
    @duchess64 said
    In 2018, Jameela Jamil *earlier* revealed that she was raped on a date.
    According to what she described, she did not consent and also did
    not resist because she 'froze' when she was taken by surprise.

    https://www.theguardian.com/world/shortcuts/2019/mar/25/being-a-woman-is-scary-the-unspoken-danger-of-declining-a-mans-advances

    "‘Being a woman is scary’: the unspoke ...[text shortened]... d or murdered.

    P.S. Within a few minutes of posting, the trolls are out with their 'thumbs down'.
    are douchless and sluzy playing out their fantasies? 😂😂😂
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