Originally posted by @suzianne To Wolfe63
Duchess has a strong sexism game. As a woman, she knows it when she sees it.
She and I have chased each other around the barn a few times, too, but I've agreed with her almost 100% this week, and I'm not at all afraid to say it.
"As a woman, she knows it [sexism] when she sees it."
I believed Christine Blasey Ford from the beginning (though I reserved my right to change my mind)
because I have enough experience to know that her described experience's believable.
"Chances are you know a sexual assault survivor. Do you know what to say?"
"I’m lucky to be able to say I’ve never been sexually assaulted. Or, to be more precise,
I’ve never been sexually assaulted if you don’t count the time a friend ignored my first
three noes and finally relented at the fourth, the one that was angry and loud.
And if you ignore all the times I was groped on dance floors, and the times I laughed off
uncomfortable advances from male friends because I was the kind of girl who “could
take a joke”. I’ve never been sexually assaulted as long as you don’t count the times I
said no later than I wanted to but before things got really bad. Still, I count myself lucky.
In rape culture, the bar for luck is low."
--Mandy Len Catron
"Believe the story – every single part of it. Don’t judge their feelings or mention how you
think you might feel in their situation. Don’t ask why they didn’t tell you sooner.
Listen without judgment. It’s a big deal for someone to trust you enough to share their
story – it costs them something. Acknowledge that.
Don’t minimize their experience. ... Trauma doesn’t just get up and walk out of a person’s life
one day; it only gets further incorporated. As Jessica puts it: “If you know a survivor and
they don’t seem that broken up about it, don’t assume they aren’t struggling and don’t
imply that someone else shouldn’t be.”
"In short, your job is to love. Love in ways that are generous and explicit, and put everything
else – politics, judgment, fear – aside. If this – putting someone else’s feelings before
your own experience – feels hard or uncomfortable, remember that it’s the least you can
do: survivors do it every day."