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  1. Zugzwang
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    01 Aug '18 00:17
    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/jul/31/paris-harasser-video-men-rejected-women-fear-violence

    "The ‘Paris harasser’ video shows why women fear male violence"
    --Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett

    "Many women have been in a situation where a man has approached
    them, only for it to turn uncomfortable when they reject his advances. ...
    Male reactions can range from verbal abuse (counterintuitively, “slut”
    seems to be the insult of choice when a woman declines an offer of sex
    from a man in the street), to refusing to take no for an answer, harassment,
    stalking and physical violence."

    "Street harassment is especially bad in Paris. I know – I have lived there.
    It was all too common to be followed, berated with sexual comments and
    groped. “Do you want to pass her round?” a group of men asked my then
    boyfriend as we walked down a street one evening. It still makes me feel
    sick to think of it. A friend was pushed up against the wall in a Metro
    station and had a hand shoved up her skirt."

    "But having suffered some of the long-term health implications of being
    attacked, I don’t find it funny any more. When you combine the larger male
    physique with rejection and a bruised ego, the situation can become
    frightening and violent. There are men who take rejection with good grace,
    of course. But not enough of them. And so women learn to smile and look
    down, to defuse the situation with soothing words and platitudes, to
    make our bodies smaller, to comply. ...

    Some women are assertive or respond defiantly, but this carries a risk,
    of which women are always cognisant. This is why, in the midst of the
    #MeToo revelations, the people who said, “Why didn’t she leave?” or
    “If it were me, I would’ve kneed him in the balls,” appeared so wrongheaded."

    "For, as long as certain toxic men feel a sense of entitlement to women’s bodies,
    a woman who has the audacity to challenge that core belief will be at risk.
    That sense of entitlement is what society must continue to try and dismantle."

    "When I was attacked, it began with a demand for a cigarette. It escalated
    to the point where I was on my back on the pavement, being strangled.
    Not even a decent man who takes rejection with good grace can tell me,
    or any other woman, that our fear of violence is unfounded. We know
    what rejected men can do – we have seen what can happen. And many
    of us have felt it."
    --Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett
  2. Standard membershavixmir
    Guppy poo
    Sewers of Holland
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    01 Aug '18 02:10
    Originally posted by @duchess64
    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/jul/31/paris-harasser-video-men-rejected-women-fear-violence

    "The ‘Paris harasser’ video shows why women fear male violence"
    --Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett

    "Many women have been in a situation where a man has approached
    them, only for it to turn uncomfortable when they reject his advances. ...
    Male react ...[text shortened]... an do – we have seen what can happen. And many
    of us have felt it."
    --Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett
    Some cultures spew forth men with small balls who’s egos are easily dented.

    However, most cultures have a fair share of these small balled men.

    It’s up to the large balled men to step in, ask them to stop and then slam their pathetic small-balled bodies into pavement (if they don’t cease their small-balled behaviour).

    Standing by and saying nothing is not an option.
    Although, the best way to interrupt the small balled men is to step up, be a real man, and ask a victim if she’s alright with the small-balled man’s behaviour. Right whilst he’s standing there.

    If she’s not, ask her if she wants the situation taken care of. Right whilst he’s standing there.

    And then slam-dunk his small-balled body like a testicle in a game of mini-golf.
    And then go back to drinking an espresso.
  3. SubscriberKingDavid403
    King David
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    01 Aug '18 02:45
    Originally posted by @shavixmir
    Some cultures spew forth men with small balls who’s egos are easily dented.

    However, most cultures have a fair share of these small balled men.

    It’s up to the large balled men to step in, ask them to stop and then slam their pathetic small-balled bodies into pavement (if they don’t cease their small-balled behaviour).

    Standing by and saying nothi ...[text shortened]... l-balled body like a testicle in a game of mini-golf.
    And then go back to drinking an espresso.
    The guy that picked up the chair in the video should have beat the worthless POS arse with that chair; but no he backs away at the last moment making himself look more like a wimp than if he had done nothing. Also, all the other men just sitting there watching but doing nothing. What a bunch of worthless wimps.
    Disgusting to say the least. Duchess has an extremely valid point here.
  4. Joined
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    01 Aug '18 06:311 edit
    Originally posted by @duchess64
    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/jul/31/paris-harasser-video-men-rejected-women-fear-violence

    "The ‘Paris harasser’ video shows why women fear male violence"
    --Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett

    "Many women have been in a situation where a man has approached
    them, only for it to turn uncomfortable when they reject his advances. ...
    Male react ...[text shortened]... an do – we have seen what can happen. And many
    of us have felt it."
    --Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett
    Women should carry a pepper spray with them to deal with sex pests and harassers. It's incredibly effective. It is an absolute necessity in a country like South Africa where women are never safe. I have considered leaving South Africa many times because of the problem the country has with the treatment of women.
  5. Behind the scenes
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    01 Aug '18 13:20
    Originally posted by @duchess64
    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/jul/31/paris-harasser-video-men-rejected-women-fear-violence

    "The ‘Paris harasser’ video shows why women fear male violence"
    --Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett

    "Many women have been in a situation where a man has approached
    them, only for it to turn uncomfortable when they reject his advances. ...
    Male react ...[text shortened]... an do – we have seen what can happen. And many
    of us have felt it."
    --Rhiannon Lucy Cosslett
    It seems to me I've heard this before a few times. 😴
  6. Zugzwang
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    01 Aug '18 13:371 edit
    Originally posted by @ashiitaka
    Women should carry a pepper spray with them to deal with sex pests and harassers. It's incredibly effective. It is an absolute necessity in a country like South Africa where women are never safe. I have considered leaving South Africa many times because of the problem the country has with the treatment of women.
    It's naive to expect one device to end sexual harassment or assault.
    The basic problem is the disparity of power between men
    and women, which is not measured only physically.

    Sexual harassment and assault does not happen only on the street.
    Women are not sexually harassed or assaulted only by strangers.
    In fact, women often are sexually harassed or assaulted
    by men whom they had trusted in situations where they
    had expected to feel safe.

    In an earlier thread, I described the case of a young woman
    who worked for a much older married man, a lawyer and politician.
    She trusted him and assumed that he was pro-feminist.
    One evening, she was alone together with him in the office.
    Suddenly, he threw her down to the floor, raised her skirt,
    and raped her. Taken by surprise as much as by force,
    she asked him if she had done anything to provoke him.
    He said that, for a long time, he had been fantasizing
    about making love to the attractive, desirable young
    woman who spent so much time close to him and over
    whom he had so much power. He said that he simply
    could not resist her and the rape should take their relationship
    to a new level of intimacy. His proposition was that she
    should become his mistress and receive a raise for it.
    He suggested that she go on a date with him to celebrate.

    Shocked, she quit her job and was fortunate enough to
    get another job without requiring him to give her a reference.
    She never considered reporting her rape to the police.
    When she discovered that he had impregnated her, she
    told him. He refused to offer any support and opposed abortion.
    She paid for her own abortion. She attempted to forget
    about it all. Years later, she was stunned to receive flowers
    and a note from her former boss. He said that he still
    fondly recalled her and hoped to become intimate with
    her again. Then she felt that she never could be safe from him.
    At long last, she let herself feel deeply angry at him.

    In the women's magazine where I read this story, the
    writer and editor believed that she could not have done
    anything practically to avoid her rape.
  7. Zugzwang
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    01 Aug '18 13:50
    Originally posted by @kingdavid403
    The guy that picked up the chair in the video should have beat the worthless POS arse with that chair; but no he backs away at the last moment making himself look more like a wimp than if he had done nothing. Also, all the other men just sitting there watching but doing nothing. What a bunch of worthless wimps.
    Disgusting to say the least. Duchess has an extremely valid point here.
    My point is to oppose toxic masculinity by teaching men
    that violence is unacceptable against women.

    I would not encourage men to use gratuitous violence
    against other men supposedly in order to help women.
    That would just feed the culture of toxic masculinity.

    Of course, if a woman's being assaulted by a man and
    she cries out for aid, then other people should use
    appropriate force to defend her.
  8. Zugzwang
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    01 Aug '18 14:02
    Originally posted by @mchill
    It seems to me I've heard this before a few times. 😴
    "She asked for it", right?
  9. SubscriberKingDavid403
    King David
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    01 Aug '18 17:502 edits
    Originally posted by @duchess64
    My point is to oppose toxic masculinity by teaching men
    that violence is unacceptable against women.

    I would not encourage men to use gratuitous violence
    against other men supposedly in order to help women.
    That would just feed the culture of toxic masculinity.

    Of course, if a woman's being assaulted by a man and
    she cries out for aid, then other people should use
    appropriate force to defend her.
    I would not encourage men to use gratuitous violence
    against other men supposedly in order to help women.

    Do you think if the guy that picked up the chair to swing it at the guy that just assaulted the woman in your video clip, was he being gratuitous? Do you think if he followed through with beating his worthless arse would that be gratuitous?
    If the other men sitting around would have got up and beat his arse do you think that would be gratuitous? As the father of four daughters in their 20s, and grandfather of three grand daughters, personally, I would have put a bullet right between his eyes and claimed that the woman's life was in danger. I guess I would fail you gratuitous test. Other than instances like this and worse, I do not promote violence except in a war of self-defense.
    You need tro make up your mind Duchess, like it or not most man are masculine by nature and they cannot help it. Same as most woman are feminine by nature.
  10. Joined
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    01 Aug '18 17:55
    Originally posted by @duchess64
    My point is to oppose toxic masculinity by teaching men
    that violence is unacceptable against women.

    I would not encourage men to use gratuitous violence
    against other men supposedly in order to help women.
    That would just feed the culture of toxic masculinity.

    Of course, if a woman's being assaulted by a man and
    she cries out for aid, then other people should use
    appropriate force to defend her.
    In Hollywood they just make jokes about it for years on end while ignoring it and preaching to the rest of the world how they should act.
  11. SubscriberKingDavid403
    King David
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    01 Aug '18 17:57
    Originally posted by @whodey
    In Hollywood they just make jokes about it for years on end while ignoring it and preaching to the rest of the world how they should act.
    In Hollywood they just make jokes about it for years on end while ignoring it
    Those years are long gone. It's quite the opposite these days.
  12. Joined
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    01 Aug '18 20:05
    Originally posted by @kingdavid403
    [b]In Hollywood they just make jokes about it for years on end while ignoring it
    Those years are long gone. It's quite the opposite these days.[/b]
    Right, I'm sure that Harvey was the only one doing this sort of thing.

    LMAO!
  13. Zugzwang
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    01 Aug '18 20:175 edits
    Originally posted by @kingdavid403
    [b]I would not encourage men to use gratuitous violence
    against other men supposedly in order to help women.

    Do you think if the guy that picked up the chair to swing it at the guy that just assaulted the woman in your video clip, was he being gratuitous? Do you think if he followed through with beating his worthless arse would that be gratui ...[text shortened]... man are masculine by nature and they cannot help it. Same as most woman are feminine by nature.[/b]
    "I would not encourage men to use gratuitous violence against other men supposedly in order to help women."
    --Duchess64

    My comment is general and not necessarily not tied to one particular incident.

    "I would have put a bullet right between his eyes and claimed that the woman's life was in danger.
    I guess I would fail you gratuitous test."
    --KingDavid403

    In the USA, a jury and a judge probably would eventually decide KingDavid403's fate.

    This kind of macho 'code of honor' under which men feel obliged to kill all other men who
    apparently have violated (or disrespected) their women (men's property) should become obsolete.

    A male friend (skilled in martial arts) once asked me if I was raped and he had the power
    to kill my rapist, would I want him to do so? In general, I would not, with the only possible
    exception being if there were circumstances under which I could expect that the rapist
    never would be brought to a fair trial. I disapprove of the death penalty for rape.

    The film 'Compulsion' is a dramatization of the infamous murder case of Leopold and Loeb,
    a real-life gay couple whose homosexuality was downplayed in the 1959 film.
    One of the murderers becomes attracted to a very sweet innocent young woman, Ruth,
    and invites her to go with him on a date (for bird-watching) alone in a secluded spot.
    The other murderer demands that he take advantage of that opportunity to rape her,
    adding that he expects Ruth to feel so ashamed that she will keep silent afterward.

    On the date, a young man tells Ruth that rape is just another thing that he wants to
    experience in life, implying that she should not take it too personally. Ruth, who sincerely
    cares about him, does not scream or physically resist, as he might have expected her to do.
    Instead, she pleads with him, attempting to reason with him. He explains, in effect, that,
    as the stronger man (with a compelling need), he has the right to force himself upon her,
    to bend her to his superior will. As the rape begins, he taunts Ruth, struggling in vain,
    "Aren't you afraid of me now?" Her reply stuns him, "I'm afraid FOR you". Unable to rejoice
    at inspiring fear in her, he breaks down and rolls off her, saying that he's so ashamed of himself.
    Then he presumably takes Ruth home, and she forgives him. Later, she testifies as a
    character witness for him, when his lawyer argues that he should not be executed.
    He becomes very emotionally affected when he hears her testify on his behalf.

    A film critic has said that, in this scene, Ruth had decided to submit to the rape, but he,
    being gay, was unable to complete it. Even if he had gone further, the critic suspected
    that Ruth (still a virgin), with her generous warm empathy toward his gayness, may have
    attempted to steer the rape toward a more consensual act. It may be extraordinary, but
    Ruth still recognized there was good in him despite knowing that he had almost raped her.
    Even later knowing that he's a murderer, she still hoped that his life would be spared.

    In real life (as in the film), the mob howling for the murderers' blood did not prevail.
    Leopold and Loeb were sentenced to life in prison for the 'thrill' murder of a lad.
    While in prison, Leopold wondered about the life that he might have had with the real
    young woman (who loosely inspired the film's character Ruth). Loeb died in prison.
    Leopold became a model prisoner and was released after 33 years.
    His life story's still cited as an argument against the death penalty.
  14. Subscribersonhouse
    Fast and Curious
    slatington, pa, usa
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    01 Aug '18 20:301 edit
    Originally posted by @duchess64
    "She asked for it", right?
    Did they ID the guy and arrest him? Seems like that would have at least made men think about such attacks. Creeps like this guy are everywhere unfortunately.
  15. Zugzwang
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    01 Aug '18 20:32
    Originally posted by @ashiitaka
    Women should carry a pepper spray with them to deal with sex pests and harassers. It's incredibly effective. It is an absolute necessity in a country like South Africa where women are never safe. I have considered leaving South Africa many times because of the problem the country has with the treatment of women.
    "Women should carry a pepper spray with them to deal with sex pests and harassers."
    --Ash

    Several Americans here have recommended that 'pepper spray' be replaced by a gun.
    I pointed out that it's wildly unrealistic to expect all women and girls to carry guns 24/7
    and be ready to draw and shoot instantly at every attempted rapist.

    Technology may be useful to women (who can afford it) in defending themselves, but
    technology alone cannot eliminate the problems of sexual harassment and assault.
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