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Funniest joke in the world

Funniest joke in the world

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d

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Does anyone else know the Put-Down Clown joke?

I believe it to be the funniest joke in the world. Only problem is, no one ever laughs when I tell it. (Except me, every time.)

Even worse, since it takes about 10 minutes to tell, people seem offended that I have wasted a slice of their valuable time with my so-called "joke".

Please, people. A little support.

s
Geek

Behind you...

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Two muffins are sitting in a microwave. The first muffin turns to the second one and says "My god, it's so freakin' hot in here!", and the second muffin turns to him and says "Holy crap! A talking muffin!"

shavixmir
Lord

Sewers of Holland

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Obviously "Roberto Besqualo, the meanest man of all Mexico" is the funniest joke ever told.

It loses a lot when written though, because you don't see the tequila and Corona part of it and you don't hear the phony Scottish-Mexican accent...

A close second is the talking frog joke (which I have published here to much jeering, a few recs and many a warning).

But to compete with the above joke:

Two black birds are sitting on a branch talking about who's caught the biggest worm, when a jet fighter (F-16 to be precise) flies over.

"Jesus. Did you hear him scream?" Said one of the black birds to the other.
"Well? So would you, if your arse was on fire." answered the other.

X
Cancerous Bus Crash

p^2.sin(phi)

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So these two pinecones have fallen off their tree and are floating down a river and the first one is panicking while the second is very relaxed.

So the first asks the second how he does it, why isn't he frightened.

And the second says, "I just go with the phloem."

K
Happier Now!!

Home!!

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3 blondes walking in the woods when they came across some tracks. the first blonde said "these are rabbit tracks". The second blonde said "no they aren't they're deer tracks". The third blonde said "you're both wrong, they're bear tracks". And the three blondes continued to argue about what kind of tracks they were, until the train came and hit them.

A

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Life is like an analogy.

N
The eyes of truth

elsewhere

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Originally posted by Alpha10
Life is like an analogy.
I like this one.

buffalobill
Major Bone

On yer tail ...

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"Waiter! One crocodile sandwich and make it snappy!"

s

Et in Arcadia ego...

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I have one, but I think it's a bit too disgusting. I'd probably be banned, and then put into the stocks...

It's not worth it!

J

back in business

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okay couple sweden classics are now needed:

There was this swede who once got home and found his wife in bed with another man. He was so angry that he got a gun and pointed it to his own head. "NO! Don't do that," his wife begged. "Shut up woman! You'll be next," the angry swede replied.



A norwegian and a swede were at the movie theatre, and the norwegian bet that the hero would die during the movie. The swede didn't believe him, and so they ended up betting 100 Kroner on it. When the movie was over and the hero was dead, the swede began to give the money to the norwegian, but the norwegian interrupted him "I already saw the movie, so I knew he was going to die. Keep the money." The swede replied, "oh, I also saw the movie before, but I didn't think he would be tricked twice."

s

Et in Arcadia ego...

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If you want to learn more about such serious social problems facing today's Europe, please read my unfortunately titled thread (a trilogy in three parts), which seeks to deal with common prejudicial stereotypes and human existence, plus the eternal question why everyone mocks the Swedes -are they that odious? (...well, yes). Anyway: It's very concise, shorter than this post, in fact:

http://www.redhotpawn.com/board/showthread.php?threadid=29695

Any feedback is much appreciated by a struggling young artist- plus offers of patronage will be eagerly considered.


Humbly yours,

sjeg
😴😴

Moldy Crow
Your Eminence

Scunthorpe

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"Waitress , do you have crab legs?"

"Yes I do."

"Then scuttle back into the kitchen and get me a cup of coffee ."

KS

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Did you hear about the ugly chicken? It had a pecker on its' face!

T
Full speed locomotiv

On tracks.

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Originally posted by shavixmir
Obviously "Roberto Besqualo, the meanest man of all Mexico" is the funniest joke ever told.

It loses a lot when written though, because you don't see the tequila and Corona part of it and you don't hear the phony Scottish-Mexican accent...

A close second is the talking frog joke (which I have published here to much jeering, a few recs and many a ...[text shortened]... rds to the other.
"Well? So would you, if your arse was on fire." answered the other.
Black bird joke is super!! I had to write it down!

N

The sky

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Originally posted by KJCavalier
3 blondes walking in the woods when they came across some tracks. the first blonde said "these are rabbit tracks". The second blonde said "no they aren't they're deer tracks". The third blonde said "you're both wrong, they're bear tracks". And the three blondes continued to argue about what kind of tracks they were, until the train came and hit them.
I know this as a Swede joke:

Three Swedes found some tracks. "They are bear tracks", said the first one. "No, they are hare tracks", said the second. The third one didn't get a chance to say anything, because just at that moment they got hit by the train.

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