How to eat a banana

1. bite
2. chew
3. swallow
4. repeat

Originally posted by @lemon-lime
1. bite
2. chew
3. swallow
4. repeat

That is how to eat an apple.

Originally posted by @wolfgang59
That is how to eat an apple.

Yes, but for the sake of clarity those same eating instructions actually belong in a different thread... because apples are not bananas.

Some people are bananas, but that's a different topic altogether.

Originally posted by @lemon-lime
1. bite
2. chew
3. swallow
4. repeat

What about 'peel'; a vital stage in the eating of a banana, surely?

I suggest the following amendment;

1. Peel
1.a. Bite
2. Chew
3. Swallow
4. Repeat from 1.a.

At least this way stages 2 - 4 remain unaltered, avoiding unnecessary confusion.
N.B. I have banana trees growing in my garden, so consider myself something of an authority.

Whilst I'm here, here are some pointless facts about bananas.

Pointless fact 1.; we have 22 different types of banana grown hereabouts; some are nicer than others, and not all of them are yellow.
Pointless fact 2.; You can't grow a banana tree from a banana; they send out runners, like grass, from which new banana trees grow. Once a banana tree has fruited, it dies and falls over.
Pointless fact 3.; Pigs are clever. They chew through the base of a banana tree until it falls over, then they eat the bananas, although I confess I have never seen a pig peel a banana, so in the case of pigs; move directly to stage 1.a.

Originally posted by @indonesia-phil
What about 'peel'; a vital stage in the eating of a banana, surely?

I suggest the following amendment;

1. Peel
1.a. Bite
2. Chew
3. Swallow
4. Repeat from 1.a.

At least this way stages 2 - 4 remain unaltered, avoiding unnecessary confusion.
N.B. I have banana trees growing in my garden, so consider myself something of an authority.
...[text shortened]... nfess I have never seen a pig peel a banana, so in the case of pigs; move directly to stage 1.a.

I don't have time this morning, but will be along later to supply compelling evidence that a pig can indeed peel a banana.

Originally posted by @indonesia-phil
1. Peel
1.a. Bite
2. Chew
3. Swallow
4. Repeat from 1.a.

Repeat forever?!?

Think we need a "do loop" or sub-routine and a test to see if banana is finished.

Boy - who would have thought it was so complicated!

Does the fact that humans share 55% of the same DNA as bananas go some way to explain the existential void of this thread?

Originally posted by @pianoman1
Does the fact that humans share 55% of the same DNA as bananas go some way to explain the existential void of this thread?

Half man, half banana - I knew I had an affinity. Almost makes one feel like a cannibal. I'm not bent though; straight as a die, me; honest guv...

Originally posted by @ghost-of-a-duke
I don't have time this morning, but will be along later to supply compelling evidence that a pig can indeed peel a banana.

That would be the Suffolk Oldstock; particularly clever the Suffolk Oldstock. If only bananas grew in Suffolk...

Originally posted by @ghost-of-a-duke
I don't have time this morning, but will be along later to supply compelling evidence that a pig can indeed peel a banana.

Incidentally, and whether or not they can peel bananas (which has yet to be definitively proven) pig breeds come in two distinct types; ones with sticky - up ears and ones with floppy ears. I've heard say that you can't mix the two, as the sticky - up varieties have the advantage when feeding, as the floppy types can't see what the f@*k they're doing. Floppy eared pigs may be a genetic dead - end.

Originally posted by @pianoman1
Does the fact that humans share 55% of the same DNA as bananas go some way to explain the existential void of this thread?

Strangely bananas share 55% of human DNA.
This must explain why this thread was started.

Songs about bananas;

1. 'Yes, we have no bananas.'

2. Anyone...?

Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.

Originally posted by @ghost-of-a-duke
Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.

Bananas are naughty and nice. Amen.



edit: whoops wrong thread.