1. Joined
    27 Dec '05
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    27 Feb '14 18:01
    What do you call a Spaniard that has had his car stolen ?...Carlos
    Spanish archer .....El bow
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    27 Feb '14 19:01
    Originally posted by phil3000
    What do you call a Spaniard that has had his car stolen ?...Carlos
    Spanish archer .....El bow
    how can you tell when an American has been in your back yard........the trash cans empty and the cats pregnant.
  3. Joined
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    27 Feb '14 19:19
    Originally posted by redbarons
    how can you tell when an American has been in your back yard........the trash cans empty and the cats pregnant.
    How do you seperate Greek men from Greek boys?...with a crowbar.
  4. SubscriberSuzianne
    Misfit Queen
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    27 Feb '14 20:28
    The post that was quoted here has been removed
    Shut up, Vince.

    It was stupid then, it's even more stupid now.

    Yes, a year later, it's still stupid.
  5. Standard memberRemoved
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    27 Feb '14 20:32
    Originally posted by Suzianne
    Shut up, Vince.

    It was stupid then, it's even more stupid now.

    Yes, a year later, it's still stupid.
    vince who the f is vince
  6. SubscriberPonderable
    chemist
    Linkenheim
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    28 Feb '14 13:50
    Originally posted by redbarons
    vince who the f is vince
    Best joke in this thread.

    ***THREAD CLOSED ***
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    28 Feb '14 16:09
    2 lengths of string enter a bar 1 orders a beer,the barman says are u a length of string the string replies yes,the barman say sorry mate we don't sell beer to lengths of string,the 2nd length starts contorting and twisting, then asks for a beer,the barman looks at him and says are you a length of string and he replies im a fraid not.
  8. Joined
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    01 Mar '14 08:54
    The current banking crisis explained by an Irishman Young Paddy bought a donkey from a farmer for £100. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.

    The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news. The donkey's died.'

    Paddy replied, 'Well then just give me my money back.'

    The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I've already spent it.'

    Paddy said, 'OK, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'

    The farmer asked, 'What are you going to do with him?'

    Paddy said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'

    The farmer said, 'You can't raffle a dead donkey!'

    Paddy said, 'Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'

    A month later, the farmer met up with Paddy and asked, 'What happened with that dead donkey?'

    Paddy said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at £2 each and made a profit of £898'

    The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'

    Paddy said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his £2 back.'

    Paddy now works for the Royal Bank of Scotland .
  9. Joined
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    01 Mar '14 11:20
    Scottish cloakroom attendant ... Angus Mc oatup
    Two Irish gays ...Patrik fitsgerrald and Gerald Fitspatrick .
    Irish window fitter ...Paddy O,Doors
  10. Standard memberRemoved
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    01 Mar '14 11:24
    Originally posted by Suzianne
    Shut up, Vince.

    It was stupid then, it's even more stupid now.

    Yes, a year later, it's still stupid.
    I cant believe that was the offensive post
  11. Joined
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    01 Mar '14 16:48
    Some bloke knocked on my back door ,when I opened it there was a little chap of about 3 feet 3inches standing there . I said "who are you "? he said "I am the metre man " 😕
  12. Joined
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    01 Mar '14 19:28
    Originally posted by phil3000
    Some bloke knocked on my back door ,when I opened it there was a little chap of about 3 feet 3inches standing there . I said "who are you "? he said "I am the metre man " 😕
    A female officer of that stature ticketed my car the other day. She was lovely.
  13. Joined
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    02 Mar '14 20:34
    I went to the doctors the other day and asked him if he had anything for wind , he gave me a kite 😲😲😲😲😲
  14. SubscriberSuzianne
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    02 Mar '14 21:24
    Here's one of my favorites.

    A man walked into a lawyer's office and said, "What are your rates?"
    "50 dollars for three questions."
    "Isn't that rather steep?"
    "Yes," said the lawyer. "And what was your third question?"
  15. Joined
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    03 Mar '14 00:26
    A man goes into the doctor complaining of stress headaches. He can't sleep, can't work, it's terrible.

    The doctor tells him, "When I have stress headaches I take a day off and spend the whole day in bed with my wife. Works every time."

    The next time the man is in for a visit the doctor asks him, "Hey did you cure your headaches?"

    The man says, "Absolutely, your advice worked great. And Doc, you have a real nice house."
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