Is there a way to set chat to off by default?

I'm not chatty, and I don't want to appear rude when others start a conversation.

I'm a chatter, and if my first message is ignored it doesn't bother me. I think most chatters would say the same. It's like a game someone creates unexpectedly, it just gets deleted and forgotten and nobody gets upset. Don't worry about it. As far as I know there's no off-switch option.