How to create an extreme fundie

Originally posted by stocken
As I am in the process of starting my own religion I really need devoted followers that will fullfill my every whim and not question any inconsistencies in my teachings. The problem is:

How do you create extreme fundies?

How do you create extreme fundies in a part of the world where such a thing as blind devotion to a single cause (my earthly enjoymen ...[text shortened]... a worhty afterlife, devoid of all misery, through their actions here on earth) is frowned upon?

Step 1: Tear the subject down. Remind them of their weakness, their imperfections.

Step 2: Promise absolution through strict adherence to your program (phrase this adherence with words like "path," "walk," "way," "race," or others that imply direction and purpose). Let the subject know that he/she has a great purpose that can only be attained through the absolution. This both feeds into their insecurity and creates a very useful "us vs. them" paradigm. Make sure your program holds out some intangible reward (e.g. space aliens returning to pick up the faithful, some sort of heaven, absolute enlightenment and perfection). Finally, allow for a sufficient amount of mystery and ambiguity in your doctrine. Remember, while followers are encouraged to read propaganda (I mean sacred scriptures.) only you can provide the best interpretation.

Step 3: Ask for contributions. The contributions can be pecuniary, sexual, or whatever else you desire. If unsuccessful, repeat step 1.

Originally posted by telerion
Step 1: Step 2: Step 3:

This sounds exactly like the program at a local (now possibly defunct)drug rehabilitation center famed for its "tough love" approach.

Originally posted by Bosse de Nage
This sounds exactly like the program at a local (now possibly defunct)drug rehabilitation center famed for its "tough love" approach.

Noupoort?

Originally posted by Halitose
Noupoort?

Jawohl.

I think if you want a fundy you need to have opposition. If you think about the fundies in the Christian religion (or any other religion/creed that has historically bred fundamentalism) I think you will notice that their major motivating factor is not love of their particular deity/creedo but hatred of their perceived opposition.

If you want fundies, I suggest you give your followers an enemy.

TheSkipper

Originally posted by TheSkipper
I think if you want a fundy you need to have opposition. If you think about the fundies in the Christian religion (or any other religion/creed that has historically bred fundamentalism) I think you will notice that their major motivating factor is not love of their particular deity/creedo but hatred of their perceived opposition.

If you want fundies, I suggest you give your followers an enemy.

TheSkipper

Oooo, that's a good one. Very insightful of you. I think, to give my followers a common enemy falls under step 1 of Telerion's strategy. While tearing my subject apart spiritually I shall also provide them relief for their self-loathing (which is sure to come) by pointing at people even worse than them (be it true or more likely not).

Moaaa-ha-ha-haaaaaa...

I shall rule this world!!!

Originally posted by stocken
Oooo, that's a good one. Very insightful of you. I think, to give my followers a common enemy falls under step 1 of Telerion's strategy. While tearing my subject apart spiritually I shall also provide them relief for their self-loathing (which is sure to come) by pointing at people even worse than them (be it true or more likely not).

Moaaa-ha-ha-haaaaaa...

I shall rule this world!!!

Clearly, you are kind of new at this. You're going to rule the world by doing what other people tell you to do? Come up with your own system!

But of course, now you can't follow my advice either. How's THAT for messing with your mind?

Originally posted by orfeo
Clearly, you are kind of new at this. You're going to rule the world by doing what other people tell you to do? Come up with your own system!

But of course, now you can't follow my advice either. How's THAT for messing with your mind?

lol

Touché!

Edit: Sweet Jesus. I've been indoctrinated, right there. What the h*ll does lol mean? Laughing ? Lot? LMAO I know about. LMFAO is also easy to figure out. But Lol?

Originally posted by stocken
lol

Touché!

Edit: Sweet Jesus. I've been indoctrinated, right there. What the h*ll does lol mean? Laughing ? Lot? LMAO I know about. LMFAO is also easy to figure out. But Lol?

You are not now capable of leading your own cult. Your skill, imagination and intellect are unshaped and misguided, but there is a wonderful plan for your life! I see in you a special ability that others do not possess. You are one of the elite few with potential. Follow the "Great Con-mission" as laid out in my post. Read it. Memorize it. Stick to my plan, you will become a great cult leader. You will rise above the pathetic wanna-be televangelists and kool-aid disseminators. You'll have all the money and sex you can possibly desire. Do not listen to the hacklers and naysayers. They lack your potential. They are short-sighted and envious. Just follow steadfastly to the Great Con-mission and your mysterious and powerful fruits will reveal themselves in the Time of Ripening.

Now give me $100 and a blowjob.

Originally posted by telerion
Now give me $100 and a blowjob.

I'll just send a fourty year old, drug-addicted male prostitute your way. How's that sound?

Originally posted by stocken
I'll just send a fourty year old, drug-addicted male prostitute your way. How's that sound?

You are lost . . . 🙁

Originally posted by telerion
You are lost . . . 🙁

I can't be lost. I invented my own religion. It is you who fail to see the truth; my superiority, and you must therefore repent. Become that 40-year old, drug-addicted male prostitute so I can make money on you! Now! 🙂

Originally posted by telerion
You are not now capable of leading your own cult. Your skill, imagination and intellect are unshaped and misguided, but there is a wonderful plan for your life! I see in you a special ability that others do not possess. You are one of the elite few with potential. Follow the "Great Con-mission" as laid out in my post. Read it. Memorize it. Stick to m ul fruits will reveal themselves in the Time of Ripening.

Now give me $100 and a blowjob.

You need to work a lot more on step 1 before you go over to step 2 and 3. I don't think stocken has fully understood yet what a pathetic, useless creature he is.

P.S.: Pent and repent!

Originally posted by Nordlys
You need to work a lot more on step 1 before you go over to step 2 and 3. I don't think stocken has fully understood yet what a pathetic, useless creature he is.

P.S.: Pent and repent!

You are right. I will be more patient next time. I see that your cult has really taken off. Are you getting a lot of money and sex?

Originally posted by telerion
You are right. I will be more patient next time. I see that your cult has really taken off. Are you getting a lot of money and sex?

Pssst... She doesn't like sex. She's a loathsome creature that seriously needs to change her ways or she'll be condemned to the dry waterhole where everything suffers for an eternity.

So do you!

😠