Festival+Competiton + Typical RHP Game

Festival+Competiton + Typical RHP Game

The Planet Greenpawn

Festival+Competiton + Typical RHP Game

[b]The Edinburgh Festival is on at the moment.

A whole Capital City just goes daft for 3 weeks, it’s amazing.

Any comedian who wants to make a name for himself heads
for the Festival and this has been the launching pad of 100’s
of well known faces.

Well last week there was a bit of a row between them and the
place where they perform. (a huge balloon tent in the shape of
an upside cow - true).

The Cow tent was charging £15.00 a ticket and the comedians
were only getting £4.00 per ticket.
So they walked out and started to give free (pass the bucket) shows in pubs.

no title
Without the Cow Tent’s ground rules
these guys were unleashed and
if anyone thought PC had killed comedy
then they should have seen
and heard some of these guys in action.

Nothing was sacred. Nothing.

One guy recorded one of these jokes on his
mobile and sent it to his mate at work.
He showed it to a colleague and was sacked.




The local newspaper got wind of this and repeated the joke.
The journalist and a copy editor were both dismissed.

festivegirl1
This joke has split Edinburgh in half
with some pubs putting up
signs saying you cannot tell the joke.
Other pubs saying you can.

People are getting thrown off buses
and out of taxi’s for repeating the joke.

Some are begging others to tell them the
joke and when they do they hate them.




Now I’ve spent some bawdy nights in my time in the company of
miners, soldiers, sailors and chess players and I have heard the odd
un-pc joke or two.
But I’ve never heard anything like this.

I bet you think this is joke and I’m going to leave it untold.

No. Here it is, but in case I offend anyone I want to warn you
now that it is a right belter.

I’ll do it in instalments over the next few weeks.

Three guys go into a pub.

green bar

no title











“Seems the chess forum is always showing openings or
middle game tactics. How about looking at an ending?”

Some raisin posted that last week.

So to keep him happy let us look at an ending.



Yup that is an ending all right. Happy now?

green bar

RHP Competition No.2

The winner with the correct answer. 17. Kh1
Was Jammy121 User 308747

He (it is perhaps a she) wins The Chess Struggle in Practise.

A chess book


























If they PM’s me their address I’ll send them the book.

green bar

Lets us look at a game.

sabresmeets stanley - newbee. RHP 2003

I see so many of these games whilst leafing through RHP games.
White (to move) is faced with something like this.



White can play 12.Qxa4 bxa4 13 Nxe4 dxe4 nothing wrong with that.



But White most likely saw the Black Queen and her complete lack
of squares and suddenly had an idea.

There is nothing more dangerous on the chessboard to a weaker player
than one of his ideas.
Nothing else matters. Threats, variations and other moves are simply ignored.
The ‘idea’ rules

So plan A is to keep the Queens on and trap the Black Queen.

12.Nb3 “I’m going to trap that Black Queen.”



The Queen on c2 is unprotected, the Knight is pinned. 12…bxc4
and Black is a Knight up.

Game over.?

No of course not. White has yet to a make his harmless attacking gesture
on the Black King which Black with underestimate and get mated.

Black actually encourages White’s to attack him by pulling most of his
pieces over to the Queenside and placing them in a harmless cluster.



Here they are all having a sing-song around the square b4.

Here is the whole board.



Time for White to start his attack. The first player to attack the other player’s
King wins these games and here is yet another example.

So we now meet Harry the f-Pawn

Harry the F Pawn




















Harry has had enough of this and single-handed he storms the Black camp.

3 moves later….White to play.



Harry whistles to the Queen to jump onto d2 then h6 then do a Qg7 mate.
Which is indeed what happened.

There is no defence. if 24.Qd2 Kh8 25.Qh6 Rg8. 26. Rf3 then Qxh7+ and Rg3 mate.

Here is the whole sad sorry tale.

Posted to The Planet Greenpawn

Show Comments (5)
Comments (5)

  • Posted 3329 days 11 hours and 57 minutes ago
    Standard memberDeau
    i don't think i've enjoyed a chess blog so much! well played :-)
  • Posted 3394 days 1 hour and 31 minutes ago
    Subscribergreenpawn34
    Hi Michael if you have blundered badly I'll find
    and show the worlsd. 🙂

    Hi Guys.

    The joke has moved south to Newcastle.
    It will be amongst you all soon.
  • Posted 3394 days 1 hour and 48 minutes ago
    Standard memberSunriser
    I think this is it
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhmnOpoGAPw
  • Posted 3394 days 14 hours and 10 minutes ago
    SubscriberParShooter
    Is this the Edinburgh joke? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Aristocrats_%28joke%29
  • Posted 3394 days 14 hours and 58 minutes ago
    Standard membermichael liddle
    superb analysis! I do enjoy your perspective on all chess aspects; I wouldn't mind your critique on some of my games, when you have the time, although I'd prefer it to be on a 1-1 basis.
    Last Post
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