The Best Ever Chess Book + Duck + Roma's Leagacy + Misery

The Best Ever Chess Book + Duck + Roma's Leagacy + Misery

The Planet Greenpawn

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The Best Ever Chess Book + Duck + Roma's Leagacy + Misery

”It’s the best thing since sliced bread.”
(I wonder people said before bread was sold sliced?)

This book will revolutionise the game and it’s a must buy for every chess player.

Best Ever Book

So what do you get for your $999.99.

Very little chess wise. Instructions on how the
pieces move, how to record a game and that’s it.

It is the kit that comes with the book that makes
this a must have and the rest of the book gives you
instructions on how to use it. You get…

The Kit

A tattoo gun, false teeth, a bottle of novocaine and a pair
of pliers. Also a nose camera and wire thread 0,001 inch thick.


Gargle with the novocaine and using the pliers pull out all your
teeth. Insert the special false teeth. These are your transmitters.

Insert the wire into the tattoo gun and tattoo a
large spiders web tattoo on your chest or leg.

Tattoo Gun

This is your receiver. Stick the nose camera up your nose.

Nose Camera

When you write down your moves on the score
sheet the nose camera will read the moves.
The camera sends the moves directly to Marvin
Mk.III which is a satellite orbiting the Earth.


Marvin Mk.III is the latest super-duper chess computer.
It can analyse 10 billion trillion moves a second.

Marvin sends you your reply which is picked up by the web tattoo.
The web tattoo send a message to the teeth and if you have inserted them
correctly you will hear the suggested move to make from inside you mouth.



I keep picking up BBC Radio 2 through the teeth.

Marvin’s signal overrides this when it’s transmitting but
it can be annoying when you are sitting there tapping your
feet to a song for it to be interrupted by “Pawn to f4.”

In short it’s the greatest thing since sliced bread.
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The Duck has left the USA and is on his way to Canada.

(for you people who have no idea where Canada is then get a map of
the world,turn it upside down and Canada is directly south of America.)

Before he went to Canada The Duck sent some final pictures.
Here he is at the Blackstone Chess Club playing the club president.

The Duck and Wolfman

The Duck never disclosed his name but I’m calling him the Wolfman and I hope we never meet.

Another shot of the Blackstone Chess Club.
Inside the Chess Club

Wolfman has a bald spot, he must have been grazed by a silver bullet.

Thank you again Kbear.
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Let’s have some chess. We cast our minds back to the year 1750.

America was still part of the British Empire and sliced bread had not yet
been invented. (I’m still wondering people said before bread was sold sliced?)

We go to Paris before the revolution and one chess player called Legall
played St.Brie. St. Brie the chess player, is St. Brie not a make of cheese?

(I’ve Done it at last! I’ve always wanted to type cheese and chess in the same sentence.)

That checkmate became known as Legall’s mate and every chess
player knows it.It is the greatest chess trap since sliced bread.

“….and every chess player knows it.”

Not quite true.

Between the RHP years 2011 to 2012 Roma45 has caught 27 players with
this trick! That averages out at one a month, one victim every 27 days.

Do the maths. 27 * 27 = 729 and 365+366 (2012 was a leap year.) = 731.

Nine of them (that's a third) were unsound sacrifices of the Queen.

When Roma set up the trap offering his Queen Black could have
taken the e5 Knight with his Knight and White is a piece down.

roma45 - RDM RHP 2011

Just to prove I don’t make these things up.
Here is Roma's 2011-2012 list of scalps. (the games where Black could
have won a piece with a simple...Nxe5 are marked unsound.)

Game 8167113
Game 8211090 Unsound
Game 8231465
Game 8252566
Game 8273433
Game 8322389
Game 8367139 Unsound
Game 8399697
Game 8414388 Unsound
Game 8448064
Game 8477668
Game 8673776 Unsound
Game 8725329 Unsound
Game 8739296 Unsound
Game 8785804
Game 8848280
Game 8899021
Game 8900340
Game 9017205 Unsound
Game 9337044 Unsound
Game 9351228
Game 9461240
Game 9474874 Unsound
Game 9517563
Game 9530570
Game 9622491

When not mating one player a month with Legall’s Mate. (and there is a case for it to be
called Roma’s Mate) Roma is treating us to other mates on f7. This one was played this year.

roma45 - LOUCIFER RHP 2013

Now are you thinking what I am thinking?

Has anyone on here lost a White Queen to wee sly boots Queen
trapping pattern that LOUCIFER tried in that previous game?

As usual RHP does not disappoint.

Undertaker12001 - Udo51 RHP 2011

We end with more cheerful gloom, disheartenment and misery.

geothermik - MatMann RHP 2010 Game 7667059

I’ve left the game id in so you too can play it over and find more missed wins.

Black can checkmate here very easily with 26…Qb2+

Instead all he could see was the White mate threat on g7.
(either that or he too forgot Knights can move backwards.)

He took the d4 pawn 26…Qxd4+ 25.Nxd4.

So White took over and we reach here.

White can wrap it up here starting with 45.Qxg5+ Bg6 (looks forced)

46.Rxg6+ and the White Queen will check & check and pick up the Knight
on c4. There may be mates in there as well but that is the easiest way.

Instead White forgot Bishops move backwards and played 45.Ra8+ Bxa8.

And so the game went on...and on..and on..and on.

This cute configuration of pieces arose to keep up entertained.

The Rook protects the Bishop that protects the Knight that protects the Rook.

It’s quite hard to do that in the space of 6 squares in the middle
of the board so hats off to MatMann for the sheer artistry of it all.

How did it end. How else but in a stalemate.

The White Queen battle valiantly against the three active bits but in the
end she had to give herself up as the only legal move to stop checkmate.

The Queen had to play 60.Qg4 and Black duly shunned the mate
in one with 60..Bxg4 and captured back on g4 with the Rook.


Final pic of the Duck in America saying goodbuy to a new friend.

Duck and wee friend


Scottish Chess

The Duck and his travels have made The lastest Scottish Chess Magazine.

Soon The Duck wll have his own column in 'New in Chess.'

The thread accompanying this blog is Thread 151752
The Planet Greenpawn
Last Post
10 Jun 24
Blog since
06 Jul 10