Like love,like music and like onions my moves have the power to make man cry.
I'm a genius.Not just a chessgenius but an all-round genius.
I'm 5 months old and,obviously,reside in my mother's womb.
I taught myself chess because I got bored just floating around all day.
I relay my moves to my mom through my telepathic ability.
She then passes them on to my dad because my mom can't operate the PC.
My dad then phones the one chessplaying friend he has because he himself doesn't know a knight from a bishop.
If you're wondering why I take so long to move it's because his lazy bum of a friend passed out drunk again.
If I make a silly move it's because the lazy bum was drunk but hadn't passed out yet and moved the wrong piece.
My goal is to become GM in two months,at the age of 7 months,thereby setting a record that will be very tough to beat.
Anxiously awaiting the day I get released from this fluid filled prison to show the world my amazing powers.