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Homer1Simpson

Rating (946)
Last moved 20 hours and 58 minutes ago

About Homer1Simpson

I ALWAYS take skulls and expect you to do the same. Right - carry on...

Once I was afraid I was petrified, kept thinking I could never live without me by my side...

I joined the Swiss Navy after leaving school at 4pm before being discharged mainly due to the cuts in military fleet. I decided on a change of career and so joined the Scottish International Pole Dancing Police, and after winning many saucers I decided to fly to Area 51 to see if it really exists.
I have now lost both my memory and my memory, oh and my memory. I believe it was taken whilst I wasn’t at Area 51.
After an 89 year holiday within the in the USA's Secret Padded Alectric Cells Environment, (SPACE) I found Area 51 doesn’t exist. Well only in real life it doesn’t anyhow.

I kept a diary but it was hard to write in that padded cell deep below ground with sparrows circling above - awaiting my sickly remains. I have veins thicker than my arms but they have replaced my blood with Scotch, less mess when you cut yourself and better than the taste of blood. I was finally released after serving just 186 years and I flew home arriving exhausted. Perhaps I should of got on a plane like other people because my arms really hurt as I flew up to the front door. Please don't let your Government know where I am hiding (18 Privet Drive, Devon UK) as I am a Secret (Seven) spy now, with authority to pinch people's wheel trims to use in self-defence. I can kill a man at 20 paces, providing he stands still and promises not to move. Also I have now learnt how to shoot a knife. In other words, don't mess with me sonny-boy......... Please... I need help, real help. Where's the nearest Loony bin? No no no! I said Looney bin not wheelie bin! Was that last bit wheely needed? See? My jokes are so bad even I don't understand them anymore. So are you gonna help or not? Please release me let me go, for I don't love you anymore.... wahhh!!!

Rating Trend (last 50 games)

Rated Won / Drawn / Lost

All Rated

3481 games

As White

1734 games

As Black

1747 games

Player Stats

All Games Played3543
Rated3481
Won1781
Lost1685
Drawn77
In Progress27
All Moves122027
Moves This Month449
Rating946
Tournament Entry Rating1038

Rated Color

All

3481 games

Won

1748 games

Lost

1656 games

Drawn

77 games

Rated Timeouts

Won

602 games

Lost

44 games

Historical

90 days1 Year5 Years
Highest Rating100011311239
Average Rating92910091025
Lowest Rating873873868
Opponent Average Rating9809951014
Games Rated663662413
  • Moves This Month is the number of moves made since the 1st of the month.
  • Highest Rating excludes provisional (first 20) games.
  • Tournament Entry Rating is calculated by the formula (CurrentRating + HighestRating) / 2. The entry rating will never drop to more than 100 points below your Highest Rating.
  • Rated stats are updated within 24 hours of the last completed rated game. Last refreshed on 25 Apr '18 .