Homer1Simpson

Rating 839

About Homer1Simpson

I ALWAYS take skulls and expect you to do the same. Right - carry on...

Once I was afraid I was petrified, kept thinking I could never live without me by my side...

I joined the Swiss Navy after leaving school at 4pm before being discharged after only two weeks mainly due to the cuts in the military fleet. I decided on a change of career and so joined the Scottish International Pole Dancing Police, and after winning many saucers I decided to fly to Area 51 to see if it really exists.
I have now lost both my memory and my memory, oh and my memory. I believe it was taken whilst I wasn’t at Area 51.
After an 89 year holiday within the in the USA's Secret Padded Alectric Cells Environment, (SPACE) I found Area 51 doesn’t exist. Well only in real life it doesn’t anyhow.

I kept a diary but it was hard to write in that padded cell deep below ground with sparrows circling above - awaiting my sickly remains. I have veins thicker than my arms but they have replaced my blood with Scotch, less mess when you cut yourself and better than the taste of blood. I was finally released after serving just 186 years and I flew home arriving exhausted. Perhaps I should have got on a plane like other people because my arms really hurt as I flew up to the front door. Please don't let your Government know where I am hiding (18 Privet Drive, Devon UK) as I am a Secret (Seven) spy with authority to pinch people's wheel trims to use in self-defense. I can kill a man at 20 paces, providing he stands still and promises not to move. Also, I have now learned how to shoot a knife. In other words, don't mess with me sonny-boy......... Please... I need help, real help. Where's the nearest Loony bin? No no no! I said Looney bin not wheelie bin! Was that last bit wheely needed? See? My jokes are so bad even I don't understand them anymore. So are you gonna help or not? Please release me let me go, for I don't love you anymore.... wahhh!!!

Rating Trend (last 50 games)

Rated Won / Drawn / Lost

All Rated

3679 games

As White

1830 games

As Black

1849 games

Player Stats

All Games Played3741
Rated3679
Won1876
Lost1782
Drawn83
In Progress19
All Moves128995
Moves This Month298
Rating839
Tourn. Entry Rating992

Rated Color

All

3679 games

Won

1843 games

Lost

1753 games

Drawn

83 games

Rated Timeouts

Won

628 games

Lost

48 games

Historical

90 days1 Year5 Years
Highest Rating108210921186
Average Rating9449521015
Lowest Rating839839839
Opponent Average Rating9549601001
Games Rated702712411
  • Moves This Month is the number of moves made since the 1st of the month.
  • Highest Rating excludes provisional (first 20) games.
  • Tournament Entry Rating is calculated by the formula (CurrentRating + HighestRating) / 2. The entry rating will never drop to more than 100 points below your Highest Rating.
  • Rated stats are updated within 24 hours of the last completed rated game.
  • Last refreshed on 18 Jan '19 .

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