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I am an ageing wino.

I am an ageing wino.

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Getting old, all passed out drunk on the corner. You emo kids think you got it tough? Pfffft, please! I've fought for my nation in 2 wars, and killed a man with my helmet cuz I couldn't get to my gun when Charlie entered my hut in Laos.

I climbed Everest barefoot just so I could get the feeling of how things were when I was a kid... walking to school and back 6 days a week uphill both ways in the snow bare foot, 12 hour school days and 14 hours of chores, only getting to sleep on holidays.

I used to work selling icecream makers in Alaska door to door, and would walk the whole rout in about 5 days, I'd visit 200 houses each day and sometimes the houses were 20 miles apart!

My dog Rex and I hooked up on a train out of Detroit, I was so down and out he gave me some dogfood and let me smoke his last cig. We shared a bottle of wine, that being all I had at the time. That and an old rag doll I called Sally. Her and I got married one spring, but she left me for Rex and we've never talked since.

Hand me my wine.

P-

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Originally posted by Phlabibit
Getting old, all passed out drunk on the corner. You emo kids think you got it tough? Pfffft, please! I've fought for my nation in 2 wars, and killed a man with my helmet cuz I couldn't get to my gun when Charlie entered my hut in Laos.

I climbed Everest barefoot just so I could get the feeling of how things were when I was a kid... walking to sch one spring, but she left me for Rex and we've never talked since.

Hand me my wine.

P-
I KNEW IT !!!

All that leather bound book mumbo jumbo was a fake, ya doity bum 😛



edit HAPPY 10,000 MOVES :d

HAVE SOME MOULDY CAKE 🙂

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Red, red wine
Go to my head
Make me forget that i
Still need her so

Red, red wine
It`s up to you
All I can do, i`ve done
But mem`ries won`t go
No, mem`ries won`t go

I`d have thought
That with time
Thoughts of her
Would leave my head
I was wrong
And I find
Just one thing makes me forget

Red, red wine
Stay close to me
Don`t let me be alone
It`s tearin` apart
My blue, blue heart

---red red wine rap section---

Red red wine you make me feel so fine
You keep me rocking all of the time

Red red wine you make me feel so grand
I feel a million dollars when your just in my hand

Red red wine you make me feel so sad
Any time I see you go it makes me feel bad

Red red wine you make me feel so fine
Monkey pack him rizla pon the sweet dep line

Red red wine you give me whole heap of zing
Whole heap of zing mek me do me own thing

Redred wine you really know how fi love
Your kind of loving like a blessing from above

Red red wine I love you right from the start
Right from the start with all of my heart

Red red wine in a 80`s style
Red red wine in a modern beat style, yeah

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[yorkshire accent]

Luxury! I had to get up in the morning at ten o'clock at night half an hour before I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill, and pay mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our Dad would slice us in two wit' bread knife.

[/yorkshire accent]

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Originally posted by catfoodtim
Racist.
In them days we was glad to have the price of a cup o' tea!

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Originally posted by catfoodtim
Bigot.

Edit:
Alan is nearly 20 and a Christian. He studies Mathematics (of the pure variety) at St Andrews University in Scotland which he enjoys immensely. In his spare time he likes to socialise, play the guitar, read, go for jogs or long cycle rides, and he has great fun whenever he plays football! he liked to smile, and it makes him happy whe ...[text shortened]... you were wondering) He also ridicules 6 million Yorkshire people, by quoting Monty Python.
i know plenty* of yorkshire men, and none of them find this sketch offensive. as far as i can tell, it doesn't really play on the fact that they are yorkshire men. the accents are meerly an aside. it could have been scottish accents, or welsh. 'twould still have been funny. heck-one of them, my flatmate, played yorkshire man 2 in a sketch! however, the yorkshire men bit has become integral to the sketch. i mean, it is know as "the yorkshire men" sketch...

🙄

*about a dozen

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Originally posted by catfoodtim
Xenophobe.

Some of my best friends are from Yorkshire.
Yorkshire, eh? Say no more, squire!

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Originally posted by catfoodtim
Some of my best friends are from Yorkshire.
What does that tell you?