Striptease analyze - one devastating defeat

First the game as it went. Me Black.

This was a devastating defeat from Malta Open last November.
According to advice from Botvinnik old school - one should mercilessly analyze his own games, specially defeats, in order to find weakness in way of thinking.

I understand this will be boring to most of readers but I consider it a self therapy (didactic analysis).

This was turning point in the tournament for me. After this I accepted couple of draw offers, and although I finnished above 50 per cent, I lost over 30 ELO points.

My opponent was young German. before the game started he sipped several times from his schweppes bottle very loudly. I looked at him, and he understood my look as I mind it. His eyes were like at a shark. Then he deliberately took another couple of sips like a moron. I in fact didn't mind his moronic sipping, but he made me nervous by thinking I was nervous. In such manner I lost first psychological battle.

Before the game several Danish players were walking near our table and - farted. suppose it was a revenge for my own farting in previous rounds. Only that I threatened them with smell and they did the same with sound.

Let's see the game again.

1. e4 c5 2. Nf3 d6 3. Nc3 a6 4. a4



He approached to the game with fear, although he forced himself to be a hot shot. Last move he made nervously, with fake optimism, in style "'what a heck, I live recklessly". But the move was "so so" and not thoughtful.

From my side, I forced myself to play "bravely" and not to show he was going on my nerves. I was listening to Danes' farting all the time. They knew I spoke Danish. And we all understood the language of fart.

4. ...Bg4 5. Bc4 e6 6. h3 Bxf3 7. Qxf3 Nc6 8. Qd1 g6 9. d3 Bg7 10. O-O

So:::



Here I felt comfortable and confident, because I knew I had at least equal position.
And here I made a good mistake, in the sense that I was stronger than one of my weaknesses, never mind I didn't make the best move. I knew the next move wasn't the best but I wanted to disturb my opponent and to attack on King Flank.
What weakness I am talking about?
In December 2014 I played my first OTB game against GM in similar variation ad I lost without fight.


In this position I rejected the plan with castling on Queen side although it was good.
But I was just copycatting Fischer's and R. Byrne's games from seventies.

So I felt good when now I played that idea in similar position.
I wanted to attack that slurping S.O.B.

and I played
10. ...Qh4



11. f4?! Nh6 12. Ne2 O-O-O 13. Be3




I saw fear on his face. I knew I am little better now. Farting faded out, they spent their beans. Now I wanted to boost my confidence a bit more and I took Pawn on b2. I felt - although I couldn't calculate it to the full - that my King would not be in jeopardy on b-line. Just a feeling. I decided to follow my feelings. Another good thing in this game.

13. ...Bxb2 14. Rb1 Bd4?!



Little better was Bf6, but not a big difference.

15. Nxd4 cxd4 16. Bd2 (18. Bf2! was a bit better) d5 17. exd5
exd5 18. Ba2



I am better here, I am attacking, but I am losing my way in calculating tree. Positional understanding failed me. I should withdraw my Queen and push Pawns on White King.

18. ...Nf5? 19. c3?
White had 19. Qf3 with a slice of advantage, but drawish. He wants to attack my King, it is obvious, and during the game I thought it was good move, which "doesn't waste time but clear the way toward my King". Wrong! Positional understanding failed me again. Now I had 19. ..Rhe8!



19. ...Qf6? 20. c4 dxc4 21. Bxc4

And here I am still good after mutual mistakes. I am calculating if White can heart my King, do I have time for 21....Ne3.

I saw motiff for White: Qb3 and then Bxa6. But I wanted to remain calm and maybe invite him to make wrong sacrifice.

So I am calm, we are both attacking each others King, but I feel I am in better position now, and I want to teach a lesson that antipathetic German boy, or Swiss, I am not sure. He doesn't like me I don't like him.

I didn't have time for 21. ...Ne3, all right, I think, but I missed 21. ...Rhe8! I took only Ne3 and Rd7 in my "calculation tree".
21. ...Rd7 wasn't so bad after all..

So:::


22. Qb3 Ne3?

Well, I calculated wrongly. I should have played 22....Rc7 and after 23. Ba6? I could defend my King. 23...bxa6 24. Qb6 Kd7!

23. Bxa6!



Now I saw I miscalculated. I forced myself no to have fear, and I ænesthetized myself to numbness so I didn't feel danger and pain.
Only now it hurts.

I calculated this "tree"
23....Nd8
23...Na5!?
23...bxa6

Since I didn't find escape, I made old good mistake: I made a move which I didn't even take into consideration::

23. ...Nxf1



I was hoping at least to have material advantage if White makes mistake in his attack.

24. Bxb7+ Kd8 25. Kxf1?? Qd6?? {...Ne7! or ...Rd6! chance for salvation} 26. a5?? Rc7 27. a6 Re8 28. Bxc6 Qxc6 29. a7 Ke7 30. Qa3+ Kf6 31. Rc1 Qd7 32. Rxc7 Qxc7 33. a8=Q Rxa8 34. Qxa8 Qc2 35. Ke2 Qc6 36. Qd8+ Ke6 37. Qg5 h6 38. Qe5+ Kd7 39. Qxd4+ Black resigned

Conclusion:
further training
1 - Chess Strategy on of old books from amazon.com
plus
2 - Winning Chess tactics from Nunn or someone like him.

And that's it.