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A letter to President Bush

A letter to President Bush

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S

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Dear President Bush:

Congratulations on your election victory and for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from you and understand why you would propose and support a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage. As you said, "in the eyes of God marriage is based between a man a woman." I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18.22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. However, I do need some advice from you regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how best to follow them. 1. Leviticus 25.44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans but not to Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians? 2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21.7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness (Leviticus15.19-24). The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense. 4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord. (Leviticus 1.9) The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them? 5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35.2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it? 6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Leviticus11.10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there degrees of abomination? 7. Leviticus.21.20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here? 8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Leviticus19.27. How should they die? 9. I know from Leviticus 11.6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean. May I still play football if I wear gloves? 10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Leviticus 19.19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Leviticus 24.10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, as we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Leviticus 20.14) I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Yours truly,
An Inquiring Supporter

P.S. I look forward to your answers because there are a number of other issues that I'd like to get settled as soon as you've enlightened me on these ... Thanks again.

h

Cosmos

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Originally posted by STANG
Dear President Bush:

Congratulations on your election victory and for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from you and understand why you would propose and support a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage. As you said, "in the eyes of God marriage is based between a man a woman." I try to share th ...[text shortened]... ssues that I'd like to get settled as soon as you've enlightened me on these ... Thanks again.
Such is the farcical nature of the bible and all the fools who believe in it and the contradictory concept known only as "GOD".

d

Out there somewhere

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Originally posted by howardgee
Such is the farcical nature of the bible and all the fools who believe in it and the contradictory concept known only as "GOD".
Agreed.. Its got a few good points about how to live your life, a coupla nice stories and then a seriously bi-polar god who one chapter is smiting down the enemies of the Jews and the next telling everybody to love one another.
I don't see why so many people get in a knot about religion.. Long ago i just figured out theres really no way you are ever going to know for sure so how about just live a good life, and be nice to others and stop worrying about it.. ??

It just doesn't make any sense that someone the other side of the world, who never heard of Jesus is going to burn in hell cos he didn't "open his heart to jesus" or get baptised..

daft..

M
the Mad

Jupiter

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Praise the Lord!

No CAP's, no meaningless question mark, hell it's even slightly amusing.

I had consigned you to the dustbin of the useless and boring... any chance you can keep this up?

MÅ¥HÅRM

p

Graceland.

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Originally posted by STANG
Dear President Bush:

Congratulations on your election victory and for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from you and understand why you would propose and support a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage.


Your knowledge of the Bible and Mosaic law is akin to a todlers knowledge of algebra. PS, you may be able to tell when your 'wife' is going to be menstrual... ask any man, they know 😉 Imagine your wee-wee is bleeding, may be a good idea to keep it away from the ladies...

PS: I don't believe Kerry supported same sex 'marriages' either 😉

S
BentnevolentDictater

x10,y45,z-88,t3.1415

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Originally posted by STANG


... as soon as you've enlightened me on these ... Thanks again.[/b]
Gunna be a long wait. I'm trying to see any light passing into STANKY and I just don't see it as a possibility.

PD

Arizona, USA

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I recognized this same letter as having been 'sent' to Dr. Laura Schlessinger. See this site:

http://www.rainbownetwork.com/Fun/detail.asp?iData=14916&iCat=110&iChannel=20&nChannel=Fun

S

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Originally posted by StarValleyWy
Gunna be a long wait. I'm trying to see any light passing into STANKY and I just don't see it as a possibility.

I have seen the light but I haven't carried it with me since I stopped smoking last week.

S

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Originally posted by Mayharm
Praise the Lord!

No CAP's, no meaningless question mark, hell it's even slightly amusing.

I had consigned you to the dustbin of the useless and boring... any chance you can keep this up?

MÅ¥HÅRM
?

S

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Merry X-Mas America !!!

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