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Bush Resume

Bush Resume

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r

Joined
08 Dec 03
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21 May 04
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I just received this is an e-mail. I am curious as to the reactions that it will receive.

-Ray.

---------------------------------------------------

RESUME

GEORGE W. BUSH
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20520

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

Law Enforcement:
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the
influence
of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license
suspended
for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been lost and is not available.

Military:
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a
drug
test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the
Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid
combat duty in Vietnam.

College:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:

* I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business in
Midland,Texas, in 1975.
* I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil inTexas. The company
went
bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. I bought the Texas Rangers
baseball
team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money.

* With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including
Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS

* I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making
Texas
the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los
Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.
* I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in
borrowed money.

* I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American
history.

* With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's
appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after
losing by over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

* I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal
record.
* I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one
billion
dollars per week.
* I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.
* I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
* I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any
12-month
period.
* I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
* I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S.
stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost
their
jobs and that trend continues every month.
* I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any
administration
in U.S. history. My poorest millionaire, Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron
oil
tanker named after her.
* I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.
* I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most
corporate campaign donations.
* My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends,
Kenneth
Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History,
Enron.
* My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to
assure
my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.
* I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation
or
prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky
affair than has been spent
investigating one of the biggest corporate rip- offs in history.
* I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to
intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed. I
presided
over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.
* I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded
government contracts.
* I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President
in
U.S. history.
* I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in th
e
history of the United States government.
* I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S.
history.
* I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove
the
U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
* I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law. * I refused to allow
inspector's access to U.S. prisoners of war detainees and thereby have
refused
to abide by the Geneva Convention.
* I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election
inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).
* I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President
since the advent of television.
* I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year
period.
After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst
security
failure in U.S. history.
* I garnered the most sympathy for the U.S. after the World Trade Center
attacks
and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the
world,
the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.
* I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously
protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for
protests against any person in the history of
mankind.
* I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked,
pre-emptive
attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against
the
will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S.
citizens, and the world community.
* I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty
benefits for active duty troops and their families -- in wartime.
* In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking
Iraq
and then blamed the lies on our British friends.
* I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71😵
view
my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.
* I am supporting development of a nuclear Tactical Bunker Buster, a WMD.
* I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden [sic]
to
justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

* All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's
library,
sealed and unavailable for public view.

* All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt
companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

* All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my
Vice-President, attended regarding public energy
policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.

r

Over seas

Joined
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21 May 04
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Heck, I would hire him in a minut. Imagine having a guy like that on your side.😵

NS
blunderer of pawns

Rhode (not an)Island

Joined
17 Apr 04
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21 May 04
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Yeah, that about sums it up. Except he left out, "I have 'misspoken' so many times throughout my political career that there is now a day calendar out with every day featureing another classic example of my accidental wit."

This calendar, by the way, is called George W. "Bushisms." I think it's available as a book, too.

TheSkipper
Pimp!

Gangster Land

Joined
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21 May 04
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The really sad aspect of all this is that the Bush administration has done such a good job of making ineptitude 'ok' that so long as he does not suck his thumb during a press confrence or debate he is percieved to have done well.

Everyone in the country knows that during the debates Kerry is going to make Bush look like a child on everything from knowledge of the issues to speaking ability. However, the silly voting public will be impressed that Bush did as well as he did...completely losing sight of the fact that he just got destroyed. He did well...'for Bush'.

I say that if the prison abuse scandal plays a factor in Bush getting ousted from office then those Iraqi prisoners have not only done this country a great service, but the entire world. Then this country will owe the Iraqi's our apology, and our sincerest thanks.

TheSkipper

k

Boise, ID

Joined
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21 May 04
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Good post, but I hate to say, I think Bush is still going to win. He will lose the popular vote and win again with electoral college. I just think he has too much money to convince people.

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