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Honesty..a defense for rudeness?

Honesty..a defense for rudeness?

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Is it really okay to say whatever you feel as long as its honest? Can we merely by claiming to tell the truth hurt whoever we like in the process?

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Originally posted by kmax87
Is it really okay to say whatever you feel as long as its honest? Can we merely by claiming to tell the truth hurt whoever we like in the process?
Is it really OK? No
Should people be able to do it? Yes

The number of people who are just plain rude is small. A child might be taught that it is rude but should never be taught to lie. If an adult wants to do it in a vindictive manner, this says more about the person doing the commenting than the fat, stinky, black, lazy, drug addict, disabled, person they are refering to.

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Originally posted by kmax87
Is it really okay to say whatever you feel as long as its honest? Can we merely by claiming to tell the truth hurt whoever we like in the process?
I think we should ask Russ for a 'Miss Manners' Category.

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Originally posted by kmax87
Is it really okay to say whatever you feel as long as its honest? Can we merely by claiming to tell the truth hurt whoever we like in the process?
Empathy is required, if I know something is going to offend someone I should try to avoid saying it, or word it differently. Unless they're being oversensitive, in which case I should not be prevented from speaking my mind, though at all times and in all cases, one should choose their words to minimise offence if possible.

So, yes, it is ok to speak the truth, provided you do what you can to minimise offence through choosing your words carefully. Also, even if something is the truth, if it doesn't need to be said, don't say it, which is kind of the same thing.

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Originally posted by kmax87
Is it really okay to say whatever you feel as long as its honest? Can we merely by claiming to tell the truth hurt whoever we like in the process?
Sometimes, depending on the people I might hurt with my honesty, I try to
sugar coat it a little (to be nice), but most often I think honesty must not be
stopped by silly etiquette or hurt feelings. It would make no sense.

1 edit
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Originally posted by agryson
Also, even if something is the truth, if it doesn't need to be said, don't say it, which is kind of the same thing.
I disagree with you here. I mean, yes, if no one brings up the topic and it
doesn't need to be said, fine, don't say anything. But if the topic has been
brought up, then I wouldn't worry so much about possibly offending others.
I mean, you gotta say what you believe to be true. To have something to
say and not say it is... well, it's a sin. Like silence was never really golden,
the way I see it.

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Originally posted by stocken
I disagree with you here. I mean, yes, if no one brings up the topic and it
doesn't need to be said, fine, don't say anything.
That's what I meant. If you know saying something is just going to hurt someone or offend them, then don't needlessly do so, but if you're already in the flow of conversation, say what you believe, once you can justify it. Hence, "You're black" is justified once they're black. But saying things like "You're black, get out of my shop" are not justified.

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Originally posted by kmax87
Is it really okay to say whatever you feel as long as its honest? Can we merely by claiming to tell the truth hurt whoever we like in the process?
Yes .. on the internet.

Face to face one need be a little more respectful.

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Originally posted by jammer
Yes .. on the internet.

Face to face one need be a little more respectful.
Well, I'd say the same rules should apply internet or not.

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Originally posted by agryson
Well, I'd say the same rules should apply internet or not.
Well on the internet no-one knows what colour you are, if you smell bad, if you're disabled, if you're fat, unless you have identified yourself as being such.

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Originally posted by Wajoma
Well on the internet no-one knows what colour you are, if you smell bad, if you're disabled, if you're fat, unless you have identified yourself as being such.
True.

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Originally posted by stocken
I disagree with you here. I mean, yes, if no one brings up the topic and it
doesn't need to be said, fine, don't say anything. But if the topic has been
brought up, then I wouldn't worry so much about possibly offending others.
I mean, you gotta say what you believe to be true. To have something to
say and not say it is... well, it's a sin. Like silence was never really golden,
the way I see it.
I often fail miserably at this one, but its often better to err on the side of not hurting people. Only say something hurtful but truthful as a last resort eg if we are certain it will benefit the person. Thats my 2 cents.