From Rosie Kane MSP's column in the Sunday Mail 15/5
"WORDS might not come easy when someone dies but they should still be spoken with care and consideration.
The discovery of Emma Caldwell's body last week provoked some predictable but inappropriate words. Emma had been missing for a month - her body was found in a wood near Biggar, Lanarkshire, on the anniversary of her sister's death seven years before.
The trauma of losing her sister, we are told, played a part in how Emma's life unfolded.
Emma has no secrets any more. Her recent past is out there for all to see - she had been a drug addict, lived in a hostel in Govanhill, Glasgow, slept rough and worked as a prostitute.
But drugs and prostitution were only a sad part of her life. They're not what she was or who she was.
She was a beautiful young woman who met a brutal end at the age of 27. Emma was a daughter, a sister, a friend, a real person. To sum up her too-short life with the two-word epitaph 'murdered prostitute' is wrong.
Emma was a woman and she was murdered by a man, killed because she was vulnerable.
They say 104 women are killed in Britain every year by their partner or ex-partner. Let's change the wording on that, too, because the fact is that 104 men kill their female partner or ex-partner every year. It's men who are using their power or strength to take the life of a woman and the way we describe this should reflect that, because the way we describe things in public can shape attitudes.
Another headline last week read 'PC stabbed wife 97 times'. The article went on to describe how PC Graham Jones had stabbed his wife Maria after finding out she was having an affair with a toyboy. The real story is 'man kills woman'. Yes, he was a policeman and, perhaps, she was seeing a younger man. So, split up, see a lawyer, sell the house, arrange access. Don't kill the woman just because you can.
The final and awful tragedy last week was the devastating story about Mary-Ann Leneghan, the 16-year-old who was sexually assaulted, tortured and murdered.
She was young, wilful and 'hanging about with a bad crowd' apparently. There are suspects and, hopefully, there will be convictions... and they will be men.
I only hope that when the men responsible for these three atrocious deaths appear in court we will not have to bear their lawyers making subtle - and not so subtle - references to what their victims wore or who they hung about with No one will say that Emma Caldwell deserved any of the tough blows she received in life. None of these women did or ever could.
Emma experienced loss, drug addiction, homelessness, mental health problems and men's violence - all because she was a vulnerable woman. What she needed was the proper care, resources and support services to mend her fractured life.
The men who attacked and killed these women had a choice - the women did not.
Thankfully, not all men are violent and the decent men are part of the solution.
Men can challenge other men when they are disrespectful in any way towards women. Men must challenge other men they know who are violent towards female partners.
Men should join women in challenging these attitudes in memory of these women and the many more like them.
Women should be able to go where they like, wear what they like and be safe.
So choose your words carefully, pull up those who do not and let us try to ensure these women have dignity in death, even when it was denied in life."
And some people think feminism is dead.
I was very moved by this story and agree whole heartedly, Right now in the news in my area there is a large string of prositutes being murdered. Bodies burned up and dumped along roadsides. There has not been a connection yet as to one suspect commiting these crimes or several. I find the media emphasises too much on the fact these women are prostitutes and not enough on acctual fact women are being violently and brutaly murder by some phyco who is on the loose.
In my own, fairly small, community there was a murder last week. A 38 yr old man shot and killed a 19 yr stripper. Emphises on stripper and not young girl. I'm still of a strong belief that we need to, as women, take back our power. I was extremely excited to read about men putting the shame on other men. This is what's needed to begin to change attitudes.
Why men feel the need to excert such extreme displays of power when they already yield so much of it over women is beyond me.
I say God bless the man who is kind of heart and strong enough to be gentle.
Originally posted by mokkoI agree mostly, but claiming that men are the only ones who cause trouble is wrong. women are quite capable themselves, give someone a weapon and strength is nothing to do with it.
I was very moved by this story and agree whole heartedly, Right now in the news in my area there is a large string of prositutes being murdered. Bodies burned up and dumped along roadsides. There has not been a connection yet as to one suspect commiting these crimes or several. I find the media emphasises too much on the fact these women are prostitutes and no ...[text shortened]... ond me.
I say God bless the man who is kind of heart and strong enough to be gentle.
I agree that men should not abuse their strength though, and I for one would challenge anyone who did so. ( And most likely get beaten into the ground and regret it but oh well).
Originally posted by RedmikeGood post, Redmike.
From Rosie Kane MSP's column in the Sunday Mail 15/5
"WORDS might not come easy when someone dies but they should still be spoken with care and consideration.
The discovery of Emma Caldwell's body last week provoked some predictable but inappropriate words. Emma had been missing for a month - her body was found in a wood near Biggar, Lanarkshire, ...[text shortened]... ty in death, even when it was denied in life."
And some people think feminism is dead.
Originally posted by trawets113Nobody claims that men are the only ones who cause trouble.
I agree mostly, but claiming that men are the only ones who cause trouble is wrong. women are quite capable themselves, give someone a weapon and strength is nothing to do with it.
I agree that men should not abuse their strength though, and I for one would challenge anyone who did so. ( And most likely get beaten into the ground and regret it but oh well).
Rosie was saying that men can be part of the solution.
Originally posted by trawets113Sorry, statistically....men are the ones who do most of the violence in this world.....there are far more men in jail for violent crimes than women, there is more room in jails for men as well as more jails just for men than for women, there are more men on death row....
I agree mostly, but claiming that men are the only ones who cause trouble is wrong. women are quite capable themselves, give someone a weapon and strength is nothing to do with it.
I agree that men should not abuse their strength tho ...[text shortened]... ost likely get beaten into the ground and regret it but oh well).
Today, 3 women in the U.S. will die at the hands of men who are their husbands or boyfriends....
Every 2 1/2 minuets in the U.S. someone will be sexually assualted, the vast majority will be female....
Men are more likely to commint both child abuse and child sexual abuse...
Although, women are catching up to men in the robbery, burglary and theft area....men are still well ahead of women....
Amnesty International is running an international campaign to protect women from violence...
The United States has enacted the National Violence against Women Act which btw will go away sometime this year if congress fails to protect women....
No, not all men are brutal....but at this time....brutality is a male perogative.....
Yes, to change it will take all of us, male and female, together...
The first point of this story is about launguage....how we speak to one another, the words we use, the way we use words affect the world around us.....a dead druggie prostiute is much easier to distance ourselves from that the a 19-year old girl with a history of abuse and pain....Language can be violent...infact, it is with language that abuse begins, name calling, put-downs, insults which convey a lack of respect for others leading gradually and inexorably to bones breaking and blood spilling....inside the home and outside the home....
I think a big key to the problem would be to figure out what is the motive for violence? What drives a male (or anyone) to desire the affliction of pain upon another person? Is it purely for power or are there more deeply seeded reasons.
I personally could not imagine inflicting bodily harm on another person. As a women I have been victum to violence on a number of occassions in my life. It is a high satistic. higher than I believe is ever reported.
I don't think I have ever met a women who has never experienced violence in one form or another at the hands of a man. In one rare case I did know a man who was physically abused by his wife. But this is the exception to the rule.
Is it genetic or is it conditioned? Whichever it is it has been a part of our makeup for all of history. It is not a new epidemic.
I for one do not get a sense of power from abusing those weaker than myself. I believe it is more a reflection of ones own self hatred. So if that's the case how do you combat hatred? If fear only feeds it then mabey it's love that will cure it.
then again mabey I'm just talking out my backside
🙄
Interestingly, I read about a study which reckoned that women get just as many malicious urges as men, and that when you look at extremely angry people, women are just as violent as men. The difference seems to be that men tend to be far more casual in their use of violence when they're only moderately angry or even calm, because the part of our brain which restrains violent urges is much weaker in men than than in women. There's also the instinctive thing that the stronger someone is physically relative to you, the more reluctant you are to attack them - but of course this cuts the other way with men attacking physically smaller and weaker women.
Originally posted by RedmikeI am friendly with this woman's brother.
From Rosie Kane MSP's column in the Sunday Mail 15/5
"
Another headline last week read 'PC stabbed wife 97 times'. The article went on to describe how PC Graham Jones had stabbed his wife Maria after finding out she was having an ...[text shortened]... ange access. Don't kill the woman just because you can.
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One good thing that came out of this was that he organised a parachute jump and raised thousands for women's aid groups in Coleraine (where his sister lived) and in Omagh (where the family is from).
I agree with the essence of this piece. It's not until these incidents are personalised that the full effect of the tragedy, avoidable tragedy, can be felt.