1 Liners

Gimmie the best you got!!

I tried to hold open a revolving door for a lady.
My chemistry set blew up, but i guess oxidants happen.
Dry erase boards are remarkable!
Dwarfs and Midgets have very little in common.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
I bought the world's worst thesarus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, It's terrible.

She asked me for an example of a smutty double entendre, so I gave her one.

Bill Gates has pledged to fund Trump's wall on the condition he gets to install windows on it.

Time wounds all heels

Every good solution produces two new problems

Economists are like astrologers, except for lacking the respect

Only lawyers are delighted with 3 am telephone calls

Originally posted by coquette
Time wounds all heels

Every good solution produces two new problems

Economists are like astrologers, except for lacking the respect

Only lawyers are delighted with 3 am telephone calls

Time's fun when you're having flies

Take my wife...PLEASE.

Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success.

Mmm.....urinal cakes

Originally posted by lemondrop
Mmm.....urinal cakes

Go ahead, make my day, PUNK.

Dear Lord....
Please give me the patience to make it through this hard week RIGHT NOW OR I'M GONNA LOOSE IT!!!

I made that.

Originally posted by BongalloJoe
Dear Lord....
Please give me the patience to make it through this hard week RIGHT NOW OR I'M GONNA LOOSE IT!!!

I made that.

Don't lose it.

Originally posted by HandyAndy
Don't lose it.

HE MAY BE TALKING ABOUT HIS NECK-TIE!

I hate when a couple argues in public but I missed the start and don't know whose side I'm on.