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  1. Subscribersonhouse
    Fast and Curious
    slatington, pa, usa
    Joined
    28 Dec '04
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    52767
    16 Oct '17 14:57
    "Fable
    “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”
    -George Santayana

    Once upon a time, a beautiful princess cared for seven amiable dwarves and waited anxiously for her Prince, so they could live happily ever aft—nevermind. There comes a point where some will get their happy ending and others look at the real world and see that everything is, and has always been, dark. Many fables and fairytales will have a happy ending, as most of them are read to children. These short stories will have a lesson usually laced with irony to tell people you can be more successful by doing things slowly and steadily than by acting quickly and carelessly, just like one of our favorite rabbit and turtle books. These stories, however, never look beyond complete purity in life. In times like the present, we have people getting trampled, knocked over, stepped on, and killed for that 80% off iPhone at Black Friday, while we have a racist Cheeto running the country. If you want a fable with a lesson to be learned, try this.
    There once was a racist orange. Everyone called him “Mr. Pathetic,” which, of course, wasn’t his real name. His actual name was Trump.
    Now, this angry orange had made HUGE money when he started his real estate business after receiving a small load of a million grapes from his father, Mr. Dragonfruit. He had gained the attention and hatred from fruit all over the fridge in becoming a monster. (Whoops! I meant Business Shark!) The 2016 kitchen election rolls around and turned the galley into a riot. Fruits and veggies were divided! There were fights! Microwaves got shot! Blenders lost their jobs! Potholders were arrested! Well… Some drawers haven’t legalized oregano yet. “Appliance Lives Matter!” This continued for months! Finally election day comes around and, inevitably, Mr. Angry Orange wins.
    There was so much controversy over this, too. No one knew what to believe. People were accusing Bathrooms of tampering with the voting system. One of the first things he tried to do is “Repeal and replace OvenCare!” He needed to fix this “faulty” healthcare plan! Here’s the thing, heathcare was fine. Now, Mr. Racist Cheeto over here had and always will have a problem with the previous fruit in charge, so in an attempt to eradicate all traces of him, he’s tinkering with all of it. He first tries to create a completely mystery healthcare plan. When the word “mystery” is used, it means that he didn’t tell the public anything about it. He promises other fruits that “It’ll be great!” and “It’s going to be HUGE!” Anyway, that completely fails. He tries to repeal and replace OvenCare and make a NEW health care, AGAIN. Guess what? It fails! Extremely recently, he finally does completely get rid of OvenCare, but what do you think is going to happen to his new healthcare plan? He keeps failing, and will probably keep doing so. The moral of this story is to learn from the past, because those who do not learn from it are doomed to repeat it."

    Caleb just celebrated his 16th birthday.
  2. SubscriberPonderable
    chemist
    Linkenheim
    Joined
    22 Apr '05
    Moves
    525906
    16 Oct '17 15:03
    It is a Piece of polemy for sure.

    However to become a fable the metaphors should be used more consistently. And not be named. There shouldn't be too much direct valuation. Try to read a fable in the Bible Judges 9 e.g. https://www.bibleserver.com/text/ESV/Judges9

    That is a pointed fable on administrative misbehaviour.
  3. Subscribersonhouse
    Fast and Curious
    slatington, pa, usa
    Joined
    28 Dec '04
    Moves
    52767
    16 Oct '17 15:14
    Originally posted by @ponderable
    It is a Piece of polemy for sure.

    However to become a fable the metaphors should be used more consistently. And not be named. There shouldn't be too much direct valuation. Try to read a fable in the Bible Judges 9 e.g. https://www.bibleserver.com/text/ESV/Judges9

    That is a pointed fable on administrative misbehaviour.
    I sent your critique to him. Sounds like good advice for an aspiring writer. His is only 16 after all.
  4. Gothenburg
    Joined
    11 Mar '16
    Moves
    10782
    16 Oct '17 15:43
    Originally posted by @sonhouse
    I sent your critique to him. Sounds like good advice for an aspiring writer. His is only 16 after all.
    I have no advice to give - I just appreciate your son for being creative and confident.
  5. Joined
    24 Apr '10
    Moves
    14639
    16 Oct '17 15:46
    I hate it when writers keep mixing up past and present tense.

    "This continued for months! Finally election day comes around and, inevitably, Mr. Angry Orange wins.
    There was so much controversy over this, too."

    Should have been

    "This continued for months! Finally election day came around and, inevitably, Mr. Angry Orange won.
    There was so much controversy over this, too."
  6. Subscribersonhouse
    Fast and Curious
    slatington, pa, usa
    Joined
    28 Dec '04
    Moves
    52767
    16 Oct '17 18:45
    Originally posted by @great-king-rat
    I hate it when writers keep mixing up past and present tense.

    "This continued for months! Finally election day comes around and, inevitably, Mr. Angry Orange wins.
    There was so much controversy over this, too."

    Should have been

    "This continued for months! Finally election day [b]came
    around and, inevitably, Mr. Angry Orange won.
    There was so much controversy over this, too."[/b]
    I linked it to him. I think he listens.
  7. Joined
    15 Dec '03
    Moves
    280298
    18 Oct '17 16:24
    Originally posted by @sonhouse
    "Fable
    “Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.”
    -George Santayana

    Once upon a time, a beautiful princess cared for seven amiable dwarves and waited anxiously for her Prince, so they could live happily ever aft—nevermind. There comes a point where some will get their happy ending and others look at the real world and see that ev ...[text shortened]... e who do not learn from it are doomed to repeat it."

    Caleb just celebrated his 16th birthday.
    4 way windowpane?
  8. Subscribersonhouse
    Fast and Curious
    slatington, pa, usa
    Joined
    28 Dec '04
    Moves
    52767
    25 Oct '17 14:53
    Originally posted by @kquinn909
    4 way windowpane?
    slow glass?
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