After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem,
and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had
an accident. The Aussies do have a way with words.
(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding
on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
😀😉🙂
just to save putting i another post i will wack this one in here. its one for all us blonde types
I'm Blonde
>A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy!" she yelled,
>We were counting today and all the other kids could only count to four, but
>I counted to ten. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10! See?"
>"Very good," said her mother.
>"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
>"Yes, it's because you're blonde."
>The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she
>yelled, "We were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could
>only go to D, but I went all the way to G. A, B, C, D, E, F, G! See?"
>"Very good," said her mother.
>"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
>"Yes, it's because you're blonde."
>The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she
>yelled, "We were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other
>girls had flat chests, but I have these!"
>And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
>"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
>"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
>"No, Honey, it's because you're 24."
>😉😉