For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day
when you just need to take it out on someone!!! Don't
take that bad day out someone you know, take it out on
someone you DON'T know!!!
Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I
remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the
number and dialed it. A man answered nicely
saying, "Hello?" I politely said, "This is Patrick
Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?"
Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't
believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down
Robin's correct number and called her. She had
transposed the last two digits incorrectly.
After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number
still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it
again.
When the same person once more answered, I
yelled "You're a jack@$$!" and hung up. Next to his
phone number I wrote the word "jacka@$$," and put it in
my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was
paying bills, or had a really bad day, I'd call him up.
He'd answer, and I'd yell, "You're a jack@$$!" It would
always cheer me up.
Later in the year the phone company introduced caller
ID. This was a real disappointment for me; I would have
to stop calling the jack@$$. Then one day I had an
idea. I dialed his number, then heard his
voice, "Hello." I made up a name. "Hi. This is the
sales office of the telephone company and I'm just
calling to see if you're familiar with our caller ID
program?"
He said, "No!" and slammed the phone down.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because
you're a jack@$$!"
The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to
show you how if there's ever anything really bothering
you, you can do something about it. Just dial 823-4863.
[Keep reading, it gets better]
The old lady at the mall really took her time pulling
out of the parking space. I didn't think she was ever
going to leave. Finally,her car began to move and she
started to very slowly back out of the slot. I backed up
a little more to give her plenty of room to pull out.
Great, I thought, she's finally leaving. All of a
sudden this black Camaro come flying up the parking
aisle in the wrong direction and pulls into her space.
I started honking my horn and yelling, "You can't just
do that, Buddy. I was here first!" The guy climbed out
of his Camaro completely ignoring me.He walked toward
the mall as if he didn't even hear me.
I thought to myself, this guy's a jack@$$, there sure a
lot of jack@$$es in this world. I noticed he had a "For
Sale" sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down
the number. Then I hunted for another place to park.
A couple of days later, I'm at home sitting at my desk.
I had just gotten off the phone after calling 823-4863
and yelling, "You're jack@$$!"
(It's really easy to call him now since I have his
number on speed dial.)
I noticed the phone number of the guy with the black
Camaro lying on my desk and thought I'd better call this
guy, too.
After a couple rings someone answered the phone and
said, "Hello." I said, "Is this the man with the black
Camaro for sale?"
"Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It's a yellow
house and the car's parked right out front."
I said, "What's your name?"
"My name is Don Hansen."
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home in the evenings."
"Listen Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes,"
"Don, you're a jack@$$!" And I slammed the phone down.
For a while things seemed to be going better for me.
Now when I had a problem I had two jack@$$es to call.
Then, after several months of calling the jack@$$es and
hanging up on them, it just wasn't as enjoyable
as it used to be. I gave the problem some serious
thought and came up with a solution:
First, I had my phone dial Jack@$$ #1. A man answered
nicely saying, "Hello." I yelled "You're a jack@$$!",
but I didn't hang up.
The jack@$$ said, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah."
He said, "Stop calling me."
I said, "No."
He said, "What's your name, Pal?"
I said, "Don Hansen."
He said "Where do you live?" "1802 West 34th Street.
It's a yellow house and my black camero is parked out
front." "I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better
start saying your prayers."
"Yeah, like I'm really scared, Jack@$$!" and I hung up.
Then I called Jack@$$ #2. He answered, "Hello."
I said, "Hello, Jack@$$!"
He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."
"You'll what?"
"I'll kick your butt."
"Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now
Jack@$$!"
And I hung up.
Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I
told them I was at 1802 West 34th Street and that I was
going to kill my gay lover as soon as he got home.
Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going
on down West 34th Street. After that I climbed into my
car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole
thing.
Glorious!
Watching two Jack@$$es kicking the crap out of each
other in front of 6 squad cars and a police helicopter
was one of the greatest experiences of my life!
Originally posted by OmnislashCome on, Omni! Is this true?!?!
For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day
when you just need to take it out on someone!!! Don't
take that bad day out someone you know, take it out on
someone you DON'T know!!!
Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I
remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the
number and dialed it. A man answered nicely
saying, ...[text shortened]... front of 6 squad cars and a police helicopter
was one of the greatest experiences of my life!
If it is, you are my new personal hero! 😀
Originally posted by Joe FistYou know, the funny thing about urban legends is that eventually someone that hears them thinks it would be a good idea to do it themselves. 😉
Hate to blow this great story but I think its urban legend...I've heard it a long time ago but it is still fantastic if it's true 🙂
Originally posted by OmnislashYeah,sure.........someone told me the same story years ago,when I was at school,it's a fake story.
For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day
when you just need to take it out on someone!!! Don't
take that bad day out someone you know, take it out on
someone you DON'T know!!!
Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I
remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the
number and dialed it. A man answered nicely
saying, ...[text shortened]... front of 6 squad cars and a police helicopter
was one of the greatest experiences of my life!
I gave it a rec, but must pedantically ask how you know that he "slammed" the phone down. He may have pressed a calming button called 'off' or 'line' or may have placed it swiftly but carefully back on the receiver. All you would hear is a dialing tone.
Hmmm, think I may start a pedants' clan...