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Animal Death-ish Match

Animal Death-ish Match

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Right, here's the situation.

It's you (weaponless) against an animal (your choice) in a closed room for 15 minutes. If you can knock out or kill that animal you (obviously) win. If both of you still consious the animal wins.

Question is, what's the biggest animal you think you would win against?

I reckon I could see off a penguin.

Note: This is a hypothetical question. No animals were harmed during the posting of this thread.

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I'd fight a lion. No doubt I'd lose, but I trust that my brain will switch channel and provide me with some nice imagery of NDE as the lion starts tearing flesh from my still living, breathing body.

It'll be a good fight though. The lion's got muscles and nasty teeth and claws, whereas I have stinky diapers and a refined intellect to go with it. I wouldn't say it's a close call, but you'd definitely see a lot more fighting than you may at first suspect. 😏

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A penguin? Seriously? Surely anyone could see off a penguin!

I reckon I could take a medium sized dog, provided it wasn't bred for fighting. Something like a dalmatian perhaps.

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Originally posted by Starrman
Something like a dalmatian perhaps.
or - perhaps - a poodle - gi-gah!

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This is a great thread Malinga!! But I don't think I could see off much as even my guinea pig causes me pain when he bites me. :'(

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A caterpillar... a slow one

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blue whale...

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Lion - don't be ridiculous.

Penguin are bigger than dalmatians.

Blue Whale, hmmm interesting... but how you gonna knock it unconsious in 15 minutes with your puny little fists/feet ???

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Originally posted by malinga
Lion - don't be ridiculous.

Penguin are bigger than dalmatians.

Blue Whale, hmmm interesting... but how you gonna knock it unconsious in 15 minutes with your puny little fists/feet ???
Even if it was an emperor penguin, how's it gonna attack you? It's not exactly known for speed and flexibility. A quick side step round the back and you could easily put it in a headlock. Failing that, you could just run up and kick it in its massive belly. Nowhere near as dangerous as an angry dalmatian.

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Originally posted by Starrman
Even if it was an emperor penguin, how's it gonna attack you? It's not exactly known for speed and flexibility. A quick side step round the back and you could easily put it in a headlock. Failing that, you could just run up and kick it in its massive belly. Nowhere near as dangerous as an angry dalmatian.
Absolutely right Starrman. Emperor penguins are not dangerous - that's why I reckon I could beat one up! Speed and flexibility are exactly what I want to avoid!

Question is - what's the BIGGEST animal you could beat not what's the most dangerous.

Dalmatians are a bit thick anyway. You could win it's trust easily then betray it with a well placed attack...

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A sloth?
They're pretty big.

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Originally posted by malinga
Absolutely right Starrman. Emperor penguins are not dangerous - that's why I reckon I could beat one up! Speed and flexibility are exactly what I want to avoid!

Question is - what's the BIGGEST animal you could beat not what's the most dangerous.

Dalmatians are a bit thick anyway. You could win it's trust easily then betray it with a well placed attack...
I honestly think I could take on a single wolf with my bare hands. 😏

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Originally posted by malinga
Absolutely right Starrman. Emperor penguins are not dangerous - that's why I reckon I could beat one up! Speed and flexibility are exactly what I want to avoid!

Question is - what's the BIGGEST animal you could beat not what's the most dangerous.

Dalmatians are a bit thick anyway. You could win it's trust easily then betray it with a well placed attack...
Oh, in that case, how about a Medusa of some sort. Thy can reach around 30 feet, but are basically made of jelly.

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Originally posted by Starrman
Oh, in that case, how about a Medusa of some sort. Thy can reach around 30 feet, but are basically made of jelly.
In that case, I'll take on a tape worm (up to 80 feet long).
Or a coral. Not sure how you'd know if it was knocked out, though.

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Originally posted by Varg
In that case, I'll take on a tape worm (up to 80 feet long).
Or a coral. Not sure how you'd know if it was knocked out, though.
Medusa - I'll have to goggle that see what it is. Image in my head is yer wan from Clash of Titans with snake hair that turned ya ta stone if she looked at ya. Don't fancy that.

Tape worm. Rubbish - Penguin has more mass i.e. bigger

Coral. I like it. You'd be favourite there alright. 15 mins to simply tear it apart.

Wolf - you lie. Nearly as implausable as your Lion earlier. My money is on the wolf having a stoken dinner.

New one for me - A Panda! They're so placid they'd sleep through your attack. Dubious as to whether you could actually knock Panda out though... Thoughts?