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Arbitrary useful tips:

Arbitrary useful tips:

General

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If like me you are good at burning pots and pans then to clean them just boil some coca cola in them for 5-10 mins and then wipe away.

Good as new.

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When disposing of a dead body, be sure to disfigure the face, burn off fingertips and pulverise teeth to minimise the chances of identification.

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if your drink driving and see a cop... just put the stubbie between your legs and give the officer a friendly wave and smile. 🙂.

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Never pet a burning dog.

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Originally posted by Kaboooomba
if your drink driving and see a cop... just put the stubbie between your legs and give the officer a friendly wave and smile. 🙂.
That kind of crap may fly out in the sticks but round here we play by the book cowboy. Now get the hell out of my office.

(I've always [since about 2 hours ago] wanted to say that)

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No reprimand for grammar and spelling errors Xanthos? I am very disappointed

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Liquid dishwashing soap is great for unclogging toilets.

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The hotter the face, the colder the razor, the smoother the shave.

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Originally posted by Starrman
The hotter the face, the colder the razor, the smoother the shave.
Actually, if you use hot (hot as it goes) water to wash the razor between shaves and then cold water to rinse at the end you'll get a better shave.

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Originally posted by XanthosNZ
Actually, if you use hot (hot as it goes) water to wash the razor between shaves and then cold water to rinse at the end you'll get a better shave.
Hot water (steaming towel is best) on the face causes the hairs to expand making them softer and easier to cut. Putting the razor in the freezer for a while hardens the blade and makes it temporarily sharper. Using lukewarm water in between strokes means the hair will stay thicker longer and the razor will stay sharper for longer. Rinse afterwards in very cold water to close facial pores and ease inflammation

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Originally posted by Starrman
Hot water (steaming towel is best) on the face causes the hairs to expand making them softer and easier to cut. Putting the razor in the freezer for a while hardens the blade and makes it temporarily sharper. Using lukewarm water in between strokes means the hair will stay thicker longer and the razor will stay sharper for longer. Rinse afterwards in very cold water to close facial pores and ease inflammation
Or... rather quit shaving and save yourself years of wasted time there Daisy.

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Originally posted by hopscotch
Or... rather quit shaving and save yourself years of wasted time there Daisy.
On your wedding night make sure you get in the bath first otherwise you will sit with your arse on the outlet for the rest of your married life.

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If you inadvertently mess hot wax on a fabric, like a carpet or something, wait till it hardens, cover the wax with a rag, then stroke a hot iron over the rag to melt the wax which will then soak up into the rag. Rinse. Repeat. Viola.

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Originally posted by hopscotch
Or... rather quit shaving and save yourself years of wasted time there Daisy.
I hate hippies 😠

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Shamelessly stolen from Viz:

Smokers. Save on matches and lighters, by simply lighting your next fag from the butt of your last one.