Q: How many people at a chess tournament does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Here is the current state of research... You need one to complain about the lighting. A second will say he thinks the light is fine. A third suggests the tournament director be called, and number four fetches him. An aged player (5) reminisces about the lighting levels at Nottingham 1936. The director (6) can't be found, but his deputy (7) arrives. Player eight says that if they increase the lighting levels it will reflect into his eyes. Number nine says they should have fluorescent lighting. Player ten says it's just a question of replacing the dead lightbulb, but player 11 thinks the bulb hasn't been working properly since the tournament began. The deputy arbiter asks an assistant arbiter (12) to make up a sign : 'Bulb defective.' A democrat (13) suggests taking a vote on whether to change the bulb and a businessman (14) forms the lightbulb changing association (LCA) as a pressure group to argue for better lighting. The world champion (15) is elected chairman. The FIDE president (16) sets up a working party (17-20) to establish agreed lighting levels with the LCA. The LCA chairman then has a row with its other members about direct/indirect lighting, and storms off with his lawyer (21) to found the Association for Changing Lightbulbs (ACL). The challenger for the world title (22) suddenly says he will not play under FIDE lighting. Three sponsors (23-25) emerge to hold the FIDE (direct light), LCA (fluorescent) and ACL (reflected light) championships, but none can match the interest attracted by Fischer (26) playing Spassky (27) with the new Fischer lightbulb, whose incandescence increases the longer you think. The last sane player on earth (28) sneaks into the playing room to change the defective bulb, but his replacement has the wrong fitting. His scream of anguish reveals him, and he is expelled from world chess for creating a disturbance.
Originally posted by royalchicken(32) Red Hot Ted sticks his paw into live socket... everyone quite likes the orange glow but there are complaints about the smell of scorched fur 😉
Kirk (31), invoking his Apostolic nature, screams "FIAT LUX!". Nothing happens; the bulb is still out.
Rhymester
33.misslead just enjoys even the blues:
UNCLE JOE
He Sits On The Front Porch
With His Hat And Dark Glasses On
Picking On A Flat Top
He Can Sing And Play Five Hundred Songs
From Jimmy Rodgers
Leadbelly To That Good Old Rock And Roll
From Miles Around
People Come To Hear My Uncle Joe
As A Young Man
He Used To Ride On Those Freight Trains
'Til God Took His Sight
Now Me And Ma Take Good Care Of Him
From Early Morning
Until That Weary Sun Do Set
You Could Hear My Uncle Joe
Fingers Sliding Down His Guitar Neck
This Little Town
It Ain't Much To Look At
One Main Street
A Lot Of Rundown Old Wooden Shacks
Someday I'll Leave
Cause That's What A Young Man Got Do To
But I Could Spend My Whole Life
Listening To Uncle Joe Sing The Blues
Linda
Sorry.Edit 1:
Not paying attention.I saw Orange and replyed blue.
Carry on regaudless with 33(a)
Sorry
