(RHP)- With the Large Hadron Collider temporarily shut down due to issues with one of its liquid-helium refrigerated proton beams, CERN's first thought of a magnetic, super-cooled replacement was naturally Chuck Norris. Though flattered by the request to aid the international scientific community, Chuck Norris warned that substituting his roundhouse kick for the opposing proton beam would clearly result in an exponential increase in collision energy, and a real possibility existed for the creation of non-trivial, stable Black Holes which could threaten life on Earth.
"Mr. Norris was correct to decline CERN's request," said noted physicist Stephen Hawking, "The phone conversation was brief, but disaster was avoided thanks to Mr. Norris' illuminating mathematics which convinced the directors to abandon this line of inquiry."
Chuck Norris saves mankind again!
