Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before Bobby Kennedy did.

Chuck Norris once played the enitire IPhO team in a game of Science Bowl. Chuck Norris won by 456.

Chuck Norris once challenged pi to a "who has more digits" contest. Chuck Norris won by 17.

Chuck Norris got into RSI without having done research or being named David.

I heard that Jesus was waiting for the Second Coming of Chuck Norris.

Originally posted by Phlabibit
Why did Chuck Norris cross the road?

To roundhouse a chicken.

If it looks like chicken and tastes like chicken but Chuck Norris say it's beef then it's f***ing beef!

Originally posted by Phlabibit
He does chess boxing, and has never had to move a piece to win.

P-

Chuck Norris sneezed

and formed Hurricane Ike

Scissors beat paper, paper beats rock, and rock beats scissors but Chuck Norris will just break your hand.

Chuck Norris can divide by 0.


Chuck Norris' credit cards have no limit. Last weekend, he maxed them out.


Chuck Norris uses Tabasco Sauce for eye drops.

When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

Chuck Norris’ house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

np