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condoms

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Imagine if all major retailers started making their own condoms and

kept the same tag-line

Sainsbury condoms - Making life taste better.

Tesco condoms - Every little helps.

Nike condoms - Just do it.

Peugeot condoms - The ride of your life.

Galaxy condoms - Why have rubber when you can have silk.

KFC condoms - Finger licking goo***ondoms - Melt in your mouth, not your hands.

Safeway condoms - Lightening the load.

Abbey national condoms - Because life is complicated enough.

Coca Cola condoms - The real thing.

Ever ready condoms - Keeps going and going.

Pringles condoms - Once you pop, you can't stop.

Burger king condoms - Home of the whopper.

Goodyear condoms - For a longer ride go wide.

FCUK condoms - No comment required.

Muller light condoms - So much pleasure, but where's the pain.

Halfords condoms - We go the extra mile.

Royal mail condoms - I saw this and thought of you.

Andrex condoms - Soft, strong and very very long.

Renault condoms - Size really does matter.

Ronseal condoms - Does exactly what it says on the tin.

Ronseal quick-drying condoms - Its dry and waterproof in 30minutes.

Domestos condoms - Gets right under the rim

Heineken condoms - reaches parts that other condoms just cannot each.

Carlsberg condoms - Probably the best condoms in the world.

AA condoms - For the 4th emergency service.

Pepperami condoms - Its a bit of an animal.

Flash condoms- does the job so you don't have too

Polo condoms - The condom with the hole. (prob not a huge seller!)

😀

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I can only imagine McDonalds... Have you had your break today.
Probably not the biggest seller either.

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But did you hear about the guy with 5 willys ?

His pants fitted like a glove

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Speaking of funny slogans, I recently received a coupon in the mail for Cold Stone Creamery. For those of you who haven't heard of it, it's an ice cream place. Anyway, the tagline, or slogan after the logo was: "Always a Happy Ending". Makes me wonder exactly what I get with that coupon.

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Originally posted by rbmorris
Speaking of funny slogans, I recently received a coupon in the mail for Cold Stone Creamery. For those of you who haven't heard of it, it's an ice cream place. Anyway, the tagline, or slogan after the logo was: "Always a Happy Ending". Makes me wonder exactly what I get with that coupon.
A hand job from a golem?

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Why do Americans pronounce it "carndim"?

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Originally posted by Kalsen
Why do Americans pronounce it "carndim"?
We don't. Whatever gave you that idea?

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Originally posted by rbmorris
We don't. Whatever gave you that idea?
During WWII, United Rubber (Durex) distributed 2,750,000 condoms to US Forces personnel in England.
They were 14" condoms, all labelled "Small"...

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Originally posted by c99ux
During WWII, United Rubber (Durex) distributed 2,750,000 condoms to US Forces personnel in England.
They were 14" condoms, all labelled "Small"...
.........so the Yanks gave them all to the English😛

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Originally posted by rmacken
.........so the Yanks gave them all to the English😛
Why are they called "Yanks"?


That's why they didn't need the condoms...

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Originally posted by c99ux
Why are they called "Yanks"?


That's why they didn't need the condoms...
suppose they could have had a posh one ha ha!

LOL!!

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Originally posted by c99ux
Why are they called "Yanks"?


That's why they didn't need the condoms...
Actually, the real reason they're called "Yanks" is that the Polish alphabet has a couple more letters than the English alphabet.

The "Y" should have been a "W"...

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Originally posted by c99ux
During WWII, United Rubber (Durex) distributed 2,750,000 condoms to US Forces personnel in England.
They were 14" condoms, all labelled "Small"...
Yes. And do you know why?

Obviously unusable for most US soldiers, with the semi-interesting exclusion of GI Pete Ant from Minnisota, commonly known as GIant. He was well hung, he was.

Anyways, the massive condoms with "small" on them were given to US soldiers in the European arena, so that when they were caught by the Nazi's, the foe would be intimidated by the insinuated size of US genitalia.
This is absolutely true.

However, it worked only for a short period of time, until Stormbahn UberMensch von Obengedacht shouted in a rallying speech in lower Nuremberg: "Wenn die Amerikaner solche große Penis haben, dann müssen die Frauen wie der Führung Tunnel errichtet werden!"

After that moment, when US soldiers were captured, the Nazi soldiers would flap their arms about, imitating giant swaying labia.

Or I believe that's what I was taught at school anyways...

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Originally posted by shavixmir
Yes. And do you know why?

Obviously unusable for most US soldiers, with the semi-interesting exclusion of GI Pete Ant from Minnisota, commonly known as GIant. He was well hung, he was.

Anyways, the massive condoms with "small" on them were given to US soldiers in the European arena, so that when they were caught by the Nazi's, the foe would be i ...[text shortened]... , imitating giant swaying labia.

Or I believe that's what I was taught at school anyways...
God damn it.

I wrote this this morning and laughed my socks off.
Is it really unfunny?????

Na...I can't believe that....

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Originally posted by Kalsen
Why do Americans pronounce it "carndim"?
i am an american and ican safely say i've never heard it pronounced that way.🙂

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