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Domed defenders from the descending drops

Domed defenders from the descending drops

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T

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Down here in Exeter, south-west England, dark clouds from far and wide often like to spend their Octobers brooding above the local populace. Here and Swansea seem to be their favourite stops. Intermittently - some would say constamittently (but I wouldn't) - they relieve their bladders of all that water they carry. Spray it everywhere they do. You'd have thought Mother Nature would train them better (farms, flowerbeds and reservoirs you scurrilous clouds, and nowhere else, comprendez?!) - but anyway, my point is umbrellas (umbrellae? umbrellii?). Some coves I know say 'brellas are an indispensable item for the modern age where presentation on arrival is everything. Others, usually men-folk, say that they're for females, and that a bit of rain never hurt anyone. I've just started to use them (one at a time mind) and aside from that feeling that the gust of wind that will turn your currently concave cover inside out is on its way any second, I've started to appreciate their worth.

Any ardently pro-umbrella users here? Anyone reject the umbrella and doesn't own one, never has owned one and never will own one, as a matter or principle? We're all united, I trust, against those hideous novelty umbrellas that you can get nowadays?

TheSkipper
Pimp!

Gangster Land

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Originally posted by T1000
Down here in Exeter, south-west England, dark clouds from far and wide often like to spend their Octobers brooding above the local populace. Here and Swansea seem to be their favourite stops. Intermittently - some would say constamittently (but I wouldn't) - they relieve their bladders of all that water they carry. Spray it everywhere they do. You'd have tho ...[text shortened]... ? We're all united, I trust, against those hideous novelty umbrellas that you can get nowadays?
This topic is shockingly interesting to me...I nver would have guessed.

I live in a big city (Washington DC), but I grew up in Portland, Oregon where it rains a great deal. In portland I was always content to simply wander about free from umbrella and let the rain hit me as nature intended. However, in DC I have noticed that using an umbrella (in my case) is necessary, not to stay dry, but for defensive puposes. There are so many people wandering around on the sidewalks with these umbrellas and their little spikes (from the frame) that I need one just to keep the others from poking my eyes out.

People can't see very well when they are under an umbrella and they do not seem at all concerned about running into people and potentially impaling their eyeballs on the umbrella frame. Yikes! So, I use an umbrella here if I know I will be walking in a high foot traffic area. I'm considering just carrying a big stick though, just clear a path for myself.

TheSkipper

T

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Originally posted by TheSkipper
This topic is shockingly interesting to me...I nver would have guessed.

I live in a big city (Washington DC), but I grew up in Portland, Oregon where it rains a great deal. In portland I was always content to simply wander about free ...[text shortened]... ng a big stick though, just clear a path for myself.

TheSkipper
Great post skip. My empathy level is running at fever-pitch (tho even accepting that a level of empathy can run, I've no idea how something running can reach fever-pitch, but nevermind).

Perhaps a sign should be developed that one could affix to one's lower shins so that it enters the eye-line of an umbrella-holding passer-by as soon as they get to within 10 feet, saying: "I am 6' 2". Please raise umbrella accordingly".

rwingett
Ming the Merciless

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Not only do I refuse to burden myself with the encumbrance of an umbrella, but I refuse to run to or from the car to get out from the rain quicker. No, quite the contrary, I hold my head high and even go so far as to slow my pace a bit as if to say to the elements, "Hah! You call this rain? Is that the worst you can do?"

kirksey957
Outkast

With White Women

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I never use an umbrella either as all they do and leave a pond wherever you go.

T

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Originally posted by rwingett
Not only do I refuse to burden myself with the encumbrance of an umbrella, but I refuse to run to or from the car to get out from the rain quicker. No, quite the contrary, I hold my head high and even go so far as to slow my pace a bit as ...[text shortened]... "Hah! You call this rain? Is that the worst you can do?"
Ah, a purist. A man truly of rigour and unflinching, unswerving principle. I daresay you shun waterproof jackets as well?

T

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Originally posted by rwingett
Not only do I refuse to burden myself with the encumbrance of an umbrella, but I refuse to run to or from the car to get out from the rain quicker. No, quite the contrary, I hold my head high and even go so far as to slow my pace a bit as ...[text shortened]... "Hah! You call this rain? Is that the worst you can do?"
Here is a true story that you and like-minded purists of the anti-umbrella movement may enjoy (despite the subversive activity contained in the first sentence):

Before leaving for work yesterday I realised that it was raining heavily. After doing some hard thinking I picked up my umbrella and enjoyed a wet-free walk to mon place de l’emploi. Upon returning to the stately homestead that evening I realised that I had left the ‘brella in the office. Left for work this morning, armed – permission having been sought and granted – with my girlfriend's umbrella (a petite, lilac coloured affair, not altogether in harmony with the 100% all-man image that I'm told I should strive for).

A pretty interesting story in itself I fancy, but remarkably the plot now thickens.

Left the office today with Iva's umbrella, and the one that I left there the day before (a hulking, giant, blue masculine-affirming type brolly). Sensing some light rain falling (raining kittens and puppies is the expression that never was), I considered for a moment which of the two domed defenders I should hold aloft. A strange feeling came over me, for although I clearly favoured one over the other, in the end I decided to put up neither. I saw people walking past, clutching their umbrellas above heads (usually their own but not always (heads I mean – I’m assuming there were no stolen umbrellas on display)), looking at me as I comfortably swung down at my side not one but TWO tied-up unopened umbrellas. Only then did I realise how epic a scene I must have portrayed, as the rain was now coming down in something only just stopping short of "torrents". Reminds you I daresay of that old Yiddish proverb about he that carries two umbrellas in rain but uses neither is being surely one to be reckoned with.

n

Spokane, WA

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Originally posted by T1000
Here is a true story that you and like-minded purists of the anti-umbrella movement may enjoy (despite the subversive activity contained in the first sentence):

Before leaving for work yesterday I realised that it was raining heavily. Afte ...[text shortened]... n rain but uses neither is being surely one to be reckoned with.
T1000, you have this way of making what could be the most mundane, boring subjects interesting and funny. I don't know how you do it.

I must be a purist because I agree wholeheartedly with Rwingett. I even find that I myself seem to slow down a bit while walking in the rain.

ncrosby🙂

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