27 Jun 08
Post a request and I'll bestow my sage wisdom upon you in an effort to guide you from useless forum turd to witty prattler. Keep in mind that no matter how much my analysis and subsequent suggestions smack of sarcastic abuse, I'm really helping you. Sometimes a firm hand is needed to get the wayward set back on the path of righteousness.
Afterall, as the Bible tells us: "He who spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes" (Proverbs 13:24) and "Withhold not correction from a child: for if thou strike him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell." (Proverbs 23:13-14)
27 Jun 08
Originally posted by SeitseFrom what I understand, Red Night is always up for a little chat room action. Try him. I, for one, have always had trouble typing and fondling myself at the same time.
u t33n 4 ch@t?
Have you ever sat on one of your own balls while sitting down to take a dump?
27 Jun 08
Originally posted by CrowleySomewhere along the line you fell under the mistaken impression that you're a brilliant artist of the insult. I imagine this goes hand in hand with the delusion that you're not a tubby piece of crap and that your life isn't an unfulfilling waste of time.
How can I insult people without them realizing it?
Nowadays all my cleverly disguised insults are picked up by people's InsultRadars and then they bowl me over with retorts attacking my MODified moral high-horse.
Please help Dr. Bleh! Ph.D. (TMFH)
In reality you're an idiot and your pseudo wit, in a very Frank burnish kind of way, continually reaches further than your wisdom should allow. I believe that your fat cells have swelled to such a size that they are restricting the blood flow to your frontal lobe. I imagine you giggle to yourself like a little schoolgirl on a frequent basis.
I believe your wife is to blame as it is in her best interest to keep you fat and dumb. This will minimize the frequency at which she needs to have sex with you (I just threw up in my mouth a little with the thought). How's my kid doing by the way?
Simply put, every time you hammer out a post with your stubby little fingers think to yourself, "Is this something Frank Burns would type?" before hitting th post key.
27 Jun 08
The post that was quoted here has been removedI imagine you sitting down with some coworkers at a Chinese Restaurant to put the hurt on the buffet. After a good meal, where you've gorged yourself on crabs legs, you sit back and crack open your fortune cookie. You smile smugly to yourself as you read,"Your many hidden talents will become obvious to those around you." "Ah, yes" you think to yourself, "finally, my hard work will pay off and I'll get some respect around here."
Well guess what, life's not a fortune cookie and its a damn good bet that nobody cares what you think. Widget's taken stale wine fueled dumps that have more intrinsic worth than you do. If your priorities were any further out of wack, you'd have no choice but to run for public office or, given your ingrained laziness, at least stagnate in some mundane civil service job.
I suspect that your unfulfilled need for constant positive reinforcement stems from being bullied as a child. Did the big bad fat Crowley looking kid your your class beat up on you? I bet Indian burns and wedgies were a daily occurance for you. I suggest that you need to get in touch with your inner child and have a good cry.
27 Jun 08
Originally posted by Hand of HecateDear Hand,
Post a request and I'll bestow my sage wisdom upon you in an effort to guide you from useless forum turd to witty prattler. Keep in mind that no matter how much my analysis and subsequent suggestions smack of sarcastic abuse, I'm really helping you. Sometimes a firm hand is needed to get the wayward set back on the path of righteousness.
Afterall ...[text shortened]... ie. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell." (Proverbs 23:13-14)
The other children wont play with me at lunch time. What is the best way to kill them all?
27 Jun 08
Originally posted by NatsiaRat poison or anti-freeze. Best to buy with cash and a host of other items or steal from a friends house. Chocolate milk hides the flavour nicely and kids love it.
Dear Hand,
The other children wont play with me at lunch time. What is the best way to kill them all?
You really need to deal with your loneliness and insecurity issues. Come and sit on Uncle Hand's lap and we'll work it out together.
27 Jun 08
Originally posted by Hand of HecateGreat idea for an interesting, interactive thread. Salute your selfless
Post a request and I'll bestow my sage wisdom upon you in an effort to guide you from useless forum turd to witty prattler. Keep in mind that no matter how much my analysis and subsequent suggestions smack of sarcastic abuse, I'm really helping you. Sometimes a firm hand is needed to get the wayward set back on the path of righteousness.
Afterall ...[text shortened]... ie. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell." (Proverbs 23:13-14)
good will toward the RHP Community and your missionary endeavor.
~ GB 😀 SOA ~
27 Jun 08
Originally posted by Hand of HecateYou changed my life!
Somewhere along the line you fell under the mistaken impression that you're a brilliant artist of the insult. I imagine this goes hand in hand with the delusion that you're not a tubby piece of crap and that your life isn't an unfulfilling waste of time.
In reality you're an idiot and your pseudo wit, in a very Frank burnish kind of way, continual ...[text shortened]... hink to yourself, "Is this something Frank Burns would type?" before hitting th post key.