Fancy cooking

Two confirmed bachelors were talking. Soon, their conversation drifted from politics to cooking.

"I got a cookbook once," said one, "but I could never do anything with it."

"Too much fancy work in it, eh?" asked the other.

"You know it. Every one of the recipes began the same way... 'Take a clean dish...'"

😀

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The barman charges him 15 cents. Confused, but not complaining, the man pays.

After a while he decides to have another, and some food, so he orders another beer and a steak. The barman charges him 50 cents, 15 for the beer and 35 for the food.

After finishing his food and drink, he calls the barman over and says, "Mate, that was the best steak I've ever had. I want to talk to the manager and thank him."

"No problem," says the barman. "He's upstairs with my wife."

"What's he doing upstairs with your wife?" asks the man.

"Probably the same thing I'm doing to his business down here!"

😉

A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth. Turning to the man next to him he said, "I forgot my teeth." The man said, "No problem." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth. "Try these," he said. The speaker tried them. "Too loose," he said. The man then said, "I have another pair - try these." The speaker tried them and responded, "Too tight." The man was not taken back at all. He then said, "I have one more pair. Try them." The speaker said, "They fit perfectly."With that he ate his meal and gave his speech. After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went over to thank the man who had helped him. "I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? I've been looking for a good dentist." The man replied, "I'm not a dentist. I'm an undertaker."

🙄

Originally posted by bambee


A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The barman charges him 15 cents. Confused, but not complaining, the man pays.

After a while he decides to have another, and some food, so he orders another beer and a steak. The barman charges him 50 cents, 15 for the beer and 35 for the food.

After finishing his food and drink, he calls the barman ove ...[text shortened]... e?" asks the man.

"Probably the same thing I'm doing to his business down here!"

😉

Please post jokes in the "Jokes and the Culture of Laugh " thread. Thanks.

So a penguin is driving down the road when he hears a horrible noise from his car. So he pulls over at the nearest station and talks to the mechanic. The mechanic tells him it's going to be about 15 minutes or so and so our penguin friend waddles across the road to a diner and has a seat at the bar.

After a period of short deliberation the peguin decides to order vanilla ice cream. Now you know as well as I that penguins have no hands, and so he proceeded to eat his ice cream by shoveling it into his mouth with his flippers.

So the peguin, now a white, sticky mess, waddles back across the road to see what the mechanic has to say about his car. The mechnics shakes his head slowly and says, "Well, looks like you blew a seal."

The penguin looks at him and says, "No, no...it's just ice cream."

A German , a Scot , and a Pole were sitting in a bar drinking and enjoying themselves . The german says ' "This is a nice place , but it's not as good as my favorite bar back home , Fritz's Place . Why back at Fritz's , you buy 3 beers , Fritz buys you the forth !"
The Scot says , "That sounds great , but my home town tavern was better . Angus would give you a free shot of scotch for every 2 you bought ."
The Pole says , "That's nice . But back in Warsaw , there's a place where you get free drinks every night , as much as you can handle . And then when you're good and drunk , they take you in to the back room for free bl*w j*bs ."
"What ?!" the other 2 exclaim together . "Free bl*w j*bs ? What the name of this place ?"
"I don't know ," says the Pole . "My sister told me about it .She goes there ."

Originally posted by Moldy Crow
A German , a Scot , and a Pole were sitting in a bar drinking and enjoying themselves . The german says ' "This is a nice place , but it's not as good as my favorite bar back home , Fritz's Place . Why back at Fritz's , you buy 3 beers , Fritz buys you the forth !"
The Scot says , "That sounds great , but my home town tavern was better . Angus wou ...[text shortened]... place ?"
"I don't know ," says the Pole . "My sister told me about it .She goes there ."

Originally posted by Blobby
😞 well carry on go on, just trying to improve this froum p.s i no yuor doing it just to piss me of moldy crow 😞 i'm dissapointed 😉

Originally posted by bambee
This is the best joke ever !!!!! Trying to improve the forum with your sad and pathetic non existant love life. Get alife Blobby, if you don't like the jokes don't read them. Is your ex has any sense she will stay your ex.

😠

Perhaps you should learn to spell before you leave school, it helps in the big wide world little boy.