Almost 2 years ago I was severly injured while playing sports.
I made a vow to recover and train hard so I could return and dominate.
While training I made some friends on the internet from my trash talking and my "in your face" attitude. This translates into "Internet tough guy"
So tonight was my first competition since my injury 2 years ago, and it was my time to prove I was going to dominate.
So did I win?
NO.
I had what I can only describe as a complete mental shutdown.
My muscles wouldn't respond to anything I wanted them to do. I was frozen in FEAR. I was so scared I was literally shaking. I couldn't even drink water because I was shaking so bad.
After losing pathetically, I noticed the friends I made by being an "Internet tough guy" didn't want anything to do with me because they saw the real me.
A complete fool. And a coward.
I don't know if my mind took over to prevent another injury? or the FEAR just immobilized me?
Why am I posting this on a chess website? I can't sleep, my mind is racing with the "coulda, shoulda, woulda's". In hindsight I'm tough
😞
Originally posted by uscf1700What sport are we talking?
Almost 2 years ago I was severly injured while playing sports.
I made a vow to recover and train hard so I could return and dominate.
While training I made some friends on the internet from my trash talking and my "in your face" attitude. This translates into "Internet tough guy"
So tonight was my first competition since my injury 2 years ago, and it w ...[text shortened]... mind is racing with the "coulda, shoulda, woulda's". In hindsight I'm tough
😞
Originally posted by uscf1700i think you're probably being too hard on yourself. first game back after two years is tough anyway. but yes, perhaps you still haven't mentally recovered from your injury. remember, it's not cowardly to feel fear, which might just be the result of your subconscious trying to protect you from injuring yourself again. perhaps you should just try again next week, without putting too much pressure on yourself - start off at a lower level of competition perhaps. if the crippling fear persists, you might benefit from talking it through with an appropriate professional.
Almost 2 years ago I was severly injured while playing sports.
I made a vow to recover and train hard so I could return and dominate.
While training I made some friends on the internet from my trash talking and my "in your face" attitude. This translates into "Internet tough guy"
So tonight was my first competition since my injury 2 years ago, and it w mind is racing with the "coulda, shoulda, woulda's". In hindsight I'm tough
😞
edit: at least you found out the truth about your 'fair weather friends'.
There's a learning in everything, dude.
This situation may show you that being a tough guy doesn't pay, particularly
in the internet. Sooner or later the PC is shut off and you're faced with all the
gangstas of Inglewood, which you can't handle by punching the keyboard.
And so you end with a gun under your pillow, sweating of fear.
The net is for having fun, not for pumping up your personality. It doesn't last.
...
Preaching aside, I hope you get better from this situation and go back to
the field and show them that you can. If you had the spirit to recover from your
injuries, you'll have it to recover from this embarrassment as well.
Originally posted by uscf1700fear is only a momentarily reaction to the possibility of 'bad stuff happening'. it doesn't reveal anything else but that you understand the consequences of doing something dangerous. if you don't fear a dangerous thing, it only shows you're too stupid to realize the consequences. it doesn't tell anything more about your true self than blinking when someone fakes a punch at your head. it's just a reaction, and it's designed to keep you alive. only idiots ignore fear, and many of them will face a stupid, humiliating and totally pointless death at an early age.
Almost 2 years ago I was severly injured while playing sports.
I made a vow to recover and train hard so I could return and dominate.
While training I made some friends on the internet from my trash talking and my "in your face" attitude. This translates into "Internet tough guy"
So tonight was my first competition since my injury 2 years ago, and it w ...[text shortened]... mind is racing with the "coulda, shoulda, woulda's". In hindsight I'm tough
😞
what matters, is what you do next. do you succumb to fear, or do you work through it. give up, or go on. now that tells something about you. - also, there's no such thing as your 'true self'. everything is open to improvement, anytime, anywhere, and it's always only a decision a way.
that said, only an idiot would 'work through' the fear of catching a bullet with his teeth. sometimes the fear is right. quite often in fact. but the trick is to know when the fear is wrong.
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sounds like post traumatic stress, was it a chess injury i wonder? weve all been there, i got a repetative stress injury from knocking my king over too much. took me 6 months off the board to recover. on return i just couldnt knock that damn king over because of the fear of the pain. now i just shuffle my king around until im mated.
its got to be chess or cage fighting to induce that level of fear.
