Your Text, Dialectized (redneck)
Th' soul drainin', sweat suffocatin' o'deal thet is wakin' up in th' mo'nin'. T'other day of interackshun wif th' cesspool of infantile thet inhabit this hyar earth. “nice day howdy-doo, warm” ah set warin' a thick jumper, lookin' up at th' cloudy sky, quite cold an' not amoosed, cuss it all t' tarnation. “hope we haf a fine summer this hyar year, hi” no comment. “looks like rain agin, hi” pow'ful Sherlock, nice observashunal skills thar. Ennythin' else t'talk about other than th' weather? Ju see th' flu outbust in mexico? Englan' had a li'l earthquake t'other day, thet was purdy weird, no?
Your Text, Dialectized (cockney)
The bloomin' soul drainin', right, sweat suffocatin' ordeal that is wakin' up in the bloody mornin'. Anuvver day of interaction wiv the cesspool of infantile that inhabit this earff. Cor blimey guv! “nice day oi, warm” I sit wearin' a fick jumper, 'ave a lookin' up at the cloudy sky, right, quite cold and not amused. “hope we 'ave a right good summer this year, right, hi” no comment. “'ave a looks like rain again, hi” right Sherlock, nice observational skills there. Anyfink else ter talk about uvver than the wevver, then? Did yer spot the flu outbreak in mexico, eh? England 'ad a wee earffquake the uvver day, right, that were pretty weird, right, no, isit?