guess the author

Some people have strange comments on themselves in thier profile. Who could have written this:

I was a big deal in a band. Soon the wild nights of drugs and groupie sex consumed me, until I found myself playing Russian Roulette with a gun ...full of Ebola. Now I practice Tai Chi, commune with woodland fauna and trim my beard in the sun.

Originally posted by Ponderable
Some people have strange comments on themselves in thier profile. Who could have written this:

I was a big deal in a band. Soon the wild nights of drugs and groupie sex consumed me, until I found myself playing Russian Roulette with a gun ...full of Ebola. Now I practice Tai Chi, commune with woodland fauna and trim my beard in the sun.

Who is this?

I kept a diary but it was hard to write in that padded cell deep below ground with sparrows circling above - awaiting my sickly remains. I have veins thicker than my arms but they have replaced my blood with Scotch, less mess when you cut yourself and better than the taste of blood. I was finally released after serving just 186 years and I flew home arriving exhausted. Perhaps I should of got on a plane like other people because my arms really hurt as I flew up to the front door. Please don't let your Government know where I am hiding (18 Privet Drive, Devon UK) as I am a Secret (Seven) spy now, with authority to pinch people's wheel trims to use in self-defence. I can kill a man at 20 paces, providing he stands still and promises not to move. Also I have now learnt how to shoot a knife. In other words, don't mess with me sonny-boy......... Please... I need help, real help. Where's the nearest Loony bin? No no no! I said Looney bin not wheelie bin! Was that last bit wheely needed? See? My jokes are so bad even I don't understand them anymore. So are you gonna help or not? Please release me let me go, for I don't love you anymore.... wahhh!!!

Originally posted by divegeester
Who is this?

I kept a diary but it was hard to write in that padded cell deep below ground with sparrows circling above - awaiting my sickly remains. I have veins thicker than my arms but they have replaced my blood with Scotch, less mess when you cut yourself and better than the taste of blood. I was finally released after serving just 186 years ...[text shortened]... onna help or not? Please release me let me go, for I don't love you anymore.... wahhh!!!

"Retired bean-counter..."

Originally posted by Grampy Bobby
"Retired bean-counter..."

Originally posted by Ponderable
Some people have strange comments on themselves in thier profile. Who could have written this:

I was a big deal in a band. Soon the wild nights of drugs and groupie sex consumed me, until I found myself playing Russian Roulette with a gun ...full of Ebola. Now I practice Tai Chi, commune with woodland fauna and trim my beard in the sun.

"The great source of pleasure is variety: Samuel Johnson"

Originally posted by Grampy Bobby
"The great source of pleasure is variety: Samuel Johnson"