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Halloween Cometh

Halloween Cometh

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I have a one piece dragon costume with a tail but my face is exposed so I can scare all of the kids with my drunken raving and profanity.

It is so comfortable it is like a full body robe that you can sleep in and I'm sure I will pass out with it on.

I have decided I will not give out candy but I will give them handfuls of rice and explain to them that they are lucky to have a handful of rice because the socialist ideals they think they love will only get them a handful rice and that is considered a good meal under socialist regimes.

Are you dressing up?

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@contenchess said
I have a one piece dragon costume with a tail but my face is exposed so I can scare all of the kids with my drunken raving and profanity.

It is so comfortable it is like a full body robe that you can sleep in and I'm sure I will pass out with it on.

I have decided I will not give out candy but I will give them handfuls of rice and explain to them that they are luck ...[text shortened]... a handful rice and that is considered a good meal under socialist regimes.

Are you dressing up?
"I'm going to put on something homemade and do a tuck dance in front of the mirror, you know just a normal day."- Buffalo Bill

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@gambrel said
"I'm going to put on something homemade and do a tuck dance in front of the mirror, you know just a normal day."- Buffalo Bill
That reminds me 🤔...

I need skin lotion.

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And I meant every word, especially the part about sideways.

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@gambrel said
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And I meant every word, especially the part about sideways.
Are you flirting with me? 🥰

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@contenchess said
Are you flirting with me? 🥰

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@contenchess said
I have a one piece dragon costume with a tail but my face is exposed so I can scare all of the kids with my drunken raving and profanity.

It is so comfortable it is like a full body robe that you can sleep in and I'm sure I will pass out with it on.

I have decided I will not give out candy but I will give them handfuls of rice and explain to them that they are luck ...[text shortened]... a handful rice and that is considered a good meal under socialist regimes.

Are you dressing up?
Take it to the American politics forum spanky.

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@contenchess said
That reminds me 🤔...

I need skin lotion.
""It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again."

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@suzianne said
""It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again."
That reminds me 🤔...

I need a shower.

You feel like hosing me down baby?

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oops! I'm all covered in whip cream 😋

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-Removed-
I'm always the Chess Champion.

I announce it on day one in every facility and I always take the title. My flagrant confidence angers them but they also respect the show.
Especially African Americans 🤔

If I had to guess I have about an 80% win rate.

It's taken seriously just like poker or basketball or whatever.

At least I have that. What would you have?
Hypothetical question if you ever ended up there.

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My Halloween pic will be me in the Dragon costume 🤔

I will not be sober.

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Urine stains will be edited out. 😒

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So is it possible for a 40 year old man to get taller?
I bought my costume 2 years ago and it fit fine.
Now I'm 42 and it's too short for me.
I wash in cold water and hang to dry outside so it didn't shrink because of hot water or a dryer 🤔

I'll squeeze into it I guess...just need more beer first.