due to a depreciating value the Hell's Angles are looking for some sort of redemption and are presently going through restructuring.
1) all patched members will undergo drug testing at the end of each week. all negative results will result in the patched member being executed at the end of the following financial month.
a pardon can be sort through regular attendance at any government 'approved' church where the said execution will be replaced with lots a love and kisses and one free ticket to heaven.
2) any new intending members are welcome, however a patch must be earned! a minimum of 5 years service MUST be completed within the local community. details of what qualifies as 'acceptable' community help can be found in section 34 b of 'helping your community' found at any good local police station.
3) all national pad bars will now operate on new hours. bars will open no earlier than 4 PM and will shut before 5 PM. during the 'happy hour' only non-alcoholic drinks shall be served at half-price untill all accumulated drug money has been used.
4) all members in ownership of Harley Davidson Motorbikes will now be required to replace the exaust with a standard nifty-fifty system.
Ride Hard / Ride Long , Hell's Angels ... WE LOVE YOU!
