Baud Rate : the rate your heart beat reaches as you impatiently wait for a web page to load.
Netgroup : a bunch of old bores endlessly discussing the weather.
Browser : a program which searches for the information you want but instead gives you a selection of pornography, advertisements and trivia.
Cookies : Files secretly planted on your P.C. as part of a computer master plan to take over the world.
Email : see junk mail.
Favorites : A massive list of long forgotten sites which once seemed crucially important.
Download : A technical term meaning theft and plagiarism.
Homepage : A glitzy, snazzy, brilliantly animated entrance to a completely dull, boring and pointless web site.
Local Area Network : The World Wide Web on a bad day.
Link : a connection which takes you from a useless site to a totally useless site.
Modem : a device which ties up your phone line for twenty four hours every day.
Snailmail : The use of trained molluscs to deliver letters.
Search Engine: A program which finds every web site except the one you lovingly created.
Servers : Powerful computers which conspire to keep you off the internet.
Web : A global collection of obsolete, inaccurate, worthless information.
Surf : The act of moving around the Web using links until you’ve completely forgotten what you were looking for in the first place.
:-)--- \< I really fancy you.
:-(---/< I really fancy you but have had eight pints.
:-)=x< I don’t fancy you at all – I’m a eunuch.
( v ) I work on a building site.
) , ( Size doesn’t matter.
) ! ( Size does matter.
) v ( I’m a virgin.
) x ( I’m an ex-virgin.
69 Let’s have kinky sex.
96 Let’s not have kinky sex ‘cos I’m not speaking to you.
99 Let’s have a cone instead of kinky sex.
696969 Let’s invite some others to have kinky sex.
:-)oO< I’m pregnant
:-)o8< It’s twins!
;-#o< . - * I’ve just vomited all over the floor.
;-)-SXY< You have a very sexy body.
:+}-o’< Your fly’s undone.
?;+) You are of questionable intelligence
£:-( My head’s pounding.
=:-( I’m having a bad hair day.
;-£ Put you money where your mouth is!
Originally posted by trevor33oi cut out the twins
:-)--- \< I really fancy you.
:-(---/< I really fancy you but have had eight pints.
:-)=x< I don’t fancy you at all – I’m a eunuch.
( v ) I work on a building site.
) , ( Size doesn’t matter.
) ! ( Size does matter.
) v ( I’m a virgin.
) x ( I’m an ex-vi ...[text shortened]... I’m having a bad hair day.
;-£ Put you money where your mouth is!
Originally posted by trevor33_
:-)--- \< I really fancy you.
:-(---/< I really fancy you but have had eight pints.
:-)=x< I don’t fancy you at all – I’m a eunuch.
( v ) I work on a building site.
) , ( Size doesn’t matter.
) ! ( Size does matter.
) v ( I’m a virgin.
) x ( I’m an ex-vi ...[text shortened]... I’m having a bad hair day.
;-£ Put you money where your mouth is!
. i
8-D--< I just took E.
. !