@mchill saidI have got that book.
Because I’m a lonely cretinous dickhead.
You're being a little hard on yourself. The reality is, you're just bored.
Suggestion: Get in touch with your inner "Woodpecker" you'll be humbled, but happier as you witness your strength grow.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0r04qwD54g&t=179s
Could not make it all the way through.
Dang its tough.