After being inspired by KJC's response to my fatties thread I went to the gym yesterday after a "hiatus". I used to go religiously, but, I've established an on again off again relationship with the gym and, lately, its been costing me about $300 per visit as I haven't been going very often.
I have good reasons for not going:
1. It's hardwork and I'd rather work on my "Body by Guiness" than lift weights and sweat.
2. I'm married and don't need to pick up chicks anymore and my dream of being an astronaught is dead.
3. I walk alot work in the yard, hike, and basically do outdoor stuff to stay in reasonable shape.
4. I'm tired and there's good stuff on TV.
5. I'm well insured and dying early would take care of my family.
So I get to the YMCA and get limbered up. Don't underestimate the importance of stretching when you're over 30. I head to the treadmills first, one because there are some great looking women jogging their little hearts out (I love this, so sue me) and two I figure a little cardio workout will postpone the pain and humiliation of actually trying to lift some weights.
I'll tell you what, that mileage counter on the tread mill is total junk. About 50 miles into what was "apparently" a 1 mile jog I really thought I was going crap my pants. Every step felt like someone had kicked me in the sphincter. To make matters worse, the treadmill had a touch screen and I'd started off with a high speed to get my heart rate up. I'll be damned if I could get it to slow back down. I flailed away at the screen like some sort of invalid having a seizure. Any thoughts of banging out a couple of miles and looking cooling doing it ended with me shooting off the back of the track like I'd been shot out of a cannon at a county fair. Game over man!
Did they change the actual weight of various free weights? If I hadn't taken a dump after my run in with the treadmill I defenitely would have crapped my pants trying to do a bench press. I used to warm up with 225lbs, now I feel crippled after 10 reps of 135lbs. Today my chest and triceps feel like someone hit me with a cattle prod. I basically can't raise my arms to do anything. If I want to point to something I have to swing my body and try to throw my hand up in the general direction of the item in question.
Biceps and back tomorrow... kill me now.
Originally posted by Hand of HecateNice thread, Hand... positive, constructive and inspirational. Thanks. Gotta go.
After being inspired by KJC's response to my fatties thread I went to the gym yesterday after a "hiatus". I used to go religiously, but, I've established an on again off again relationship with the gym and, lately, its been costing me about $300 per visit as I haven't been going very often.
I have good reasons for not going:
1. It's hardwork ...[text shortened]... n of the item in question.
Biceps and back tomorrow... kill me now.
Time for daily ping pong doubles matches and a few olympic pool laps swim.
😉
Originally posted by Hand of Hecate*I laffs* goodly writ dude.
After being inspired by KJC's response to my fatties thread I went to the gym yesterday after a "hiatus". I used to go religiously, but, I've established an on again off again relationship with the gym and, lately, its been costing me about $300 per visit as I haven't been going very often.
I have good reasons for not going:
1. It's hardwork ...[text shortened]... n of the item in question.
Biceps and back tomorrow... kill me now.
Originally posted by Hand of HecateAll I get from this is a good laugh from imagining you being zapped with a cattleprod. Excellent!
After being inspired by KJC's response to my fatties thread I went to the gym yesterday after a "hiatus". I used to go religiously, but, I've established an on again off again relationship with the gym and, lately, its been costing me about $300 per visit as I haven't been going very often.
I have good reasons for not going:
1. It's hardwork ...[text shortened]... n of the item in question.
Biceps and back tomorrow... kill me now.
Originally posted by Hand of HecateVery funny and right on! wre'cd
After being inspired by KJC's response to my fatties thread I went to the gym yesterday after a "hiatus". I used to go religiously, but, I've established an on again off again relationship with the gym and, lately, its been costing me about $300 per visit as I haven't been going very often.
I have good reasons for not going:
1. It's hardwork ...[text shortened]... n of the item in question.
Biceps and back tomorrow... kill me now.
Originally posted by Hand of HecateI used to have the same problem with the treadmill until i purchased a pair of Crowley's air flow dildos which i use as inserts in my jogging sneakers. They give my feet a nice tingly feeling even after 50 miles.
After being inspired by KJC's response to my fatties thread I went to the gym yesterday after a "hiatus". I used to go religiously, but, I've established an on again off again relationship with the gym and, lately, its been costing me about $300 per visit as I haven't been going very often.
I have good reasons for not going:
1. It's hardwork ...[text shortened]... n of the item in question.
Biceps and back tomorrow... kill me now.
GRANNY.
Originally posted by Hand of Hecatevery funny and so true about how much it costs per visit.
After being inspired by KJC's response to my fatties thread I went to the gym yesterday after a "hiatus". I used to go religiously, but, I've established an on again off again relationship with the gym and, lately, its been costing me about $300 per visit as I haven't been going very often.
I have good reasons for not going:
1. It's hardwork ...[text shortened]... n of the item in question.
Biceps and back tomorrow... kill me now.
i find these super fit skinny-bitches at the gym so intimidating, don't they realise how hard it is to run on a treadmill whilst adjusting your stupid fally-out ear-phones, listen to AC/DC and hold your your swaying gut in all at the same time!
Originally posted by divegeesterMy arms still hurt today. My wife asked me to give her a back rub last night and I just laughed. I ended up making a couple of half hearted passes and collapsing on her in pain. She wasn't amused.
very funny and so true about how much it costs per visit.
i find these super fit skinny-bitches at the gym so intimidating, don't they realise how hard it is to run on a treadmill whilst adjusting your stupid fally-out ear-phones, listen to AC/DC and hold your your swaying gut in all at the same time!
Well unless you go to the gym for the all nude, all dude review in the locker room, hot women, or just women in general (I have no standards), at the gym is the only good thing about it. Once you can get past the fact that you're fat, old, uncoordinated and smell like a 3 month old sweat sock stuffed in a gym bag and just admire them for their bouncing grace you'll be OK. Any attempt to look cool will only make you look like a jockstrap.
I will say that some people are faaaarrr too comfortable with their nudity at the gym. For god's sake grab a towel and cover that up. I don't want to be seeing your fat hairy belly and sweaty back let alone your exposed nether regions. Christ is it really necessary to saunter out of the steam room with your semi-turgid member upthrust like you're on the catwalk at a Milan fashion show? Sweet Jesus, this one bald guy, completely hairless on his head, could have braided his ass hair into a tail.
Originally posted by Hand of HecateRec'd just for this paragraph, you idiot.
Well unless you go to the gym for the all nude, all dude review in the locker room, hot women, or just women in general (I have no standards), at the gym is the only good thing about it. Once you can get past the fact that you're fat, old, uncoordinated and smell like a 3 month old sweat sock stuffed in a gym bag and just admire them for their bouncing grace you'll be OK. Any attempt to look cool will only make you look like a jockstrap.
Originally posted by Hand of HecateWhat you lookin at??
My arms still hurt today. My wife asked me to give her a back rub last night and I just laughed. I ended up making a couple of half hearted passes and collapsing on her in pain. She wasn't amused.
Well unless you go to the gym for the all nude, all dude review in the locker room, hot women, or just women in general (I have no standards), at the ...[text shortened]... ne bald guy, completely hairless on his head, could have braided his ass hair into a tail.
The whole walking around naked in the changing room thing does my head in. Why do these guys feel it's ok to stand in a tight group discussing email protocol with their ball-bags in such close proximity that the slightest breeze from the door could easily result in a 'twisted-sister' situation. It's sick I tell you, sick and gay and sick.
Originally posted by divegeesterDive if you want to see what humour is, not what trev does, but real humour.
The whole walking around naked in the changing room thing does my head in. Why do these guys feel it's ok to stand in a tight group discussing email protocol with their ball-bags in such close proximity that the slightest breeze from the door could easily result in a 'twisted-sister' situation. It's sick I tell you, sick and gay and sick.
Read the first post of this thread! 😛
Have A Great Week-end, my interwebz buddy. 😵