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"Is anyone reading this crap?" test horoscope

General

BigDogg
Secret RHP coder

on the payroll

Joined
26 Nov 04
Moves
155080
Clock
02 Jun 14

Aquarius - your large pets are causing you great stress. Give them away and get some fish instead.
Pisces - you are getting tired of long, rectangular candy bars. Try something circular and peanut-butter-filled instead.
Aries - make sure and take your Beano before you eat spicy food. Your friends will thank you for it.
Taurus - buy an american car. Supporting your country's economy will make you feel better about yourself.
Gemini - You will find lasting happiness with a guy named Jim. [You male readers are no doubt asking, "what about me?!" Trust me. Go gay on this one.]
Cancer - check daily for lumps. Easing your worries will give you peace of mind.
Leo - despite your nerdiness and/or pointy ears, you will score with a chick that's way too hot for you. [You female readers are no doubt asking, "what about me?" Trust me. Dyke out on this one.]
Virgo - don't worry. You'll get laid someday. Keep on trying and hoping.
Libra - it's OK to speak up once in awhile. Assert yourself.
Scorpio - if that one doesn't work, buy a stronger bug spray. Determination is the key to success.
Sagittarius - get a boob job. It will do wonders for the self-esteem. [Male readers: don't think you're off the hook on this one.]
Capricorn - A balanced diet is the key to a healthy life.

Grampy Bobby
Boston Lad

USA

Joined
14 Jul 07
Moves
43012
Clock
02 Jun 14
1 edit

Originally posted by BigDoggProblem
Aquarius - your large pets are causing you great stress. Give them away and get some fish instead.
Pisces - you are getting tired of long, rectangular candy bars. Try something circular and peanut-butter-filled instead.
Aries - make sure and take your Beano before you eat spicy food. Your friends will thank you for it.
Taurus - buy an american car. ...[text shortened]... ink you're off the hook on this one.]
Capricorn - A balanced diet is the key to a healthy life.
"Aries - make sure and take your Beano before you eat spicy food. Your friends will thank you for it."
March 25 Aries with normal tolerances for spicy foods.

Sicilian Sausage

In your face

Joined
21 Aug 04
Moves
55993
Clock
02 Jun 14
2 edits
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Originally posted by BigDoggProblem
Aquarius - your large pets are causing you great stress. Give them away and get some fish instead.
Pisces - you are getting tired of long, rectangular candy bars. Try something circular and peanut-butter-filled instead.
Aries - make sure and take your Beano before you eat spicy food. Your friends will thank you for it.
Taurus - buy an american car. ...[text shortened]... ink you're off the hook on this one.]
Capricorn - A balanced diet is the key to a healthy life.
I am Gemini, male and called Jim.

Does this make me Jim and I? 😕

TM

rebel city

Joined
20 Jun 09
Moves
74241
Clock
02 Jun 14
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Originally posted by BigDoggProblem
Aquarius - your large pets are causing you great stress. Give them away and get some fish instead.
Pisces - you are getting tired of long, rectangular candy bars. Try something circular and peanut-butter-filled instead.
Aries - make sure and take your Beano before you eat spicy food. Your friends will thank you for it.
Taurus - buy an american car. ...[text shortened]... ink you're off the hook on this one.]
Capricorn - A balanced diet is the key to a healthy life.
Cancer - Aie, don't lump my head with worries, please. My peace needs some mind. 😲

Suzianne
Misfit Queen

Isle of Misfit Toys

Joined
08 Aug 03
Moves
37388
Clock
02 Jun 14
Vote Up
Vote Down

Originally posted by BigDoggProblem
Aquarius - your large pets are causing you great stress. Give them away and get some fish instead.
Pisces - you are getting tired of long, rectangular candy bars. Try something circular and peanut-butter-filled instead.
Aries - make sure and take your Beano before you eat spicy food. Your friends will thank you for it.
Taurus - buy an american car. ...[text shortened]... ink you're off the hook on this one.]
Capricorn - A balanced diet is the key to a healthy life.
Good grief.

rookie54
free tazer tickles..

wildly content...

Joined
09 Mar 08
Moves
205538
Clock
02 Jun 14
1 edit

Originally posted by BigDoggProblem
Aquarius - your large pets are causing you great stress. Give them away and get some fish instead.
Pisces - you are getting tired of long, rectangular candy bars. Try something circular and peanut-butter-filled instead.
Aries - make sure and take your Beano before you eat spicy food. Your friends will thank you for it.
Taurus - buy an american car. ...[text shortened]... ink you're off the hook on this one.]
Capricorn - A balanced diet is the key to a healthy life.
is this yer original writing,
or merely copy and paste???
i'd hate to think this wasn't yours,
and all those thumbs were misplaced...

BigDogg
Secret RHP coder

on the payroll

Joined
26 Nov 04
Moves
155080
Clock
03 Jun 14

I wrote that piece myself
[not to toot my bugle]
If you don't believe me, then...
...Do a search on Google

F

Joined
28 Oct 05
Moves
34587
Clock
03 Jun 14

Aquarius - Pisces - Aries - This year Germany are going to win the World Cup, so be sure to place a bet. Italy will be fourth if you like to bet fancy.

Taurus - Gemini - World Cup 2014 will be won by Spain, so pop in at your bookmaker. Get back to me in August about how best to spend the winnings.

Cancer - Leo - Virgo - The moody Dutch [many of them Cancer/Leo] will win in Brazil in July, have a flutter with confidence, although you need to build up your confidence in bed again after last month's let downs.

Libra - Scorpio - Sagittarius - Capricorn - put a bob or two on Brazil to win the World Cup at home this year, it's in the stars. It's that little bit of green alongside the yellow and blue ~ oooh! ~ and in July too! It's a dead cert.

Sahuaro

old pueblo

Joined
03 Apr 11
Moves
17421
Clock
04 Jun 14

Originally posted by BigDoggProblem
Aquarius - your large pets are causing you great stress. Give them away and get some fish instead.
Pisces - you are getting tired of long, rectangular candy bars. Try something circular and peanut-butter-filled instead.
Aries - make sure and take your Beano before you eat spicy food. Your friends will thank you for it.
Taurus - buy an american car. ...[text shortened]... ink you're off the hook on this one.]
Capricorn - A balanced diet is the key to a healthy life.
Bug spray? Seriously? I just tell them that I'm a Scorpio and half Sicilian, and they back up. In fear. If that doesn't work, I tell them my former "job" and watch them pee themselves from PTSD. Ahh, good times, good times...

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