The news at 11:
Well folks, it was predicted long ago but it finally happened and
it wasn't a pretty sight either. Netquake. Thats right, a netquake
with a strength of lichter 8.3 hit the New Jersey servers at 3:30 am
today. If it had been at 7 am no telling what damage might have
been wrought. Some smaller swarms happened earlier this morning
with lichter readings of about 3 on the scale but only minor shaking
of monitors happened to most people.
This one was huge, folks.
Over 300 Servers went down this time. People are picking up the
bits and bytes of the slice programs now. Bill Gates has been
notified as well as Ellison from Oracle. This was predicted based
on earlier estimates of smaller netquakes seen in the Tokyo
area, a piece of the ring of firefox, going south around Asia
and back up the west coast of the US, with hot spots in the Palo Alto
California area and minor nodes in Silicon Valley.
When will the next big one strike? Stand by for an interview by
William Gates himself:
Good morning mr. Gates.
Hi there, glad to be of assistance.
So mr. gates, when will the next on strike, an word from
your programmers?
Well the vista of the future is never certain but we at MS are
working on the predictive virus controls we have envisioned for
a long time.
So mr. Gates, what is happening?
Well it goes like this: When a small shake in a server happens
in Manhattan Kansas, its a butterfly effect. It sets up a sychronized
cycle of bits that circle the net and they are like cars bunching up
on a freeway, eventually they all meet at one server and that sets
up the next stage, a feedback that goes out of that server and
wrecks several in a row. This is the Netquake.
If it can happen in New Jersey it can happen anywhere.
No-one is safe, not even Ellisons machines.
Well sir, what can we do about it?
Just keep up with those updates, we will be sending out probes
to find weak servers and we will monitor every computer in the world
including mac's, and linux for any sign of this going on.
Sir, isn't that an invasion of privacy?
Not at all, its to prevent the next big one you know.
Well thats all the news from Net Central. Good night and
be vigilant.