Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible.
He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.
After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing there.
"Name's Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night... Thought you might like to come. About 5:00."
"Great", says Tom, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you."
As Lars is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you......be some drinkin'." "Not a problem" says Tom. "After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em."
Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. "More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too." "Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right . I'll be there, Thanks again."
"More'n likely be some wild sex, too," "Now that's really not a problem" says Tom, warming to the idea. "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there.
By the way, what should I wear?"
"Don't much matter .... Just gonna be the two of us."
Originally posted by Sam The ShamHaha. That's a funny one.
Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible.
He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.
After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He ...[text shortened]...
"Don't much matter .... Just gonna be the two of us."
K
Originally posted by Sam The ShamThe following incident occured just before Tom moved to Alaska.
[b]Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible.
He was living with his wife and numerous kids alongside a lake.
Whenever the kids got presents they were numbered to avoid arguments.
Last present they got was a group of row boats duly numbered and Tom used a loud hailer to manage them.
"Come in number-3, you must finish your homework", or "bedtime in half an hour number-5" etc and this carried on for a while.
One day he shouts out, "Finish up number-9, supper time".
His wife asks "What are you talking about, we've only got 7 kids"
Tom grabs the loud hailer again "Number-6, are you having problems ?"
Originally posted by Sam The ShamOMG Sam the Sham That Is SICK. I swear when I finished reading this I did the "Sick, but can't help laughing." Look at the computer.
Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible.
He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet.
After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He ...[text shortened]...
"Don't much matter .... Just gonna be the two of us."
Originally posted by wagrroOh man, I still cant believe you guys haven't gotten a fourm ban yet. (No if one does come its not from me.) 🙂 😀
The following incident occured just before Tom moved to Alaska.
He was living with his wife and numerous kids alongside a lake.
Whenever the kids got presents they were numbered to avoid arguments.
Last present they got was a group of row boats duly numbered and Tom used a loud hailer to manage them.
"Come in number-3, you must finish your homework", or " ...[text shortened]... ly got 7 kids"
Tom grabs the loud hailer again "Number-6, are you having problems ?"
So Tom's wife had been in a coma for over 3 months
as the nurse was giving her a bath she noticed that when she washed the genital area, there was increased monitor activity
the nurse contacted Tom and told him that possibly some oral sex could help his wife come out of her coma
he was initially a bit shocked but when told he would have the privacy of curtains and they would just keep checking the monitor, he agreed
all was going well and again the nurses noticed some increased monitor activity for a while but it suddenly flatlined
they rushed into the cubicle and asked "What happened Tom ?"
"I think", he answered, "she must have choked"
a white guy was showering at the gym and an African American was as well.he couldnt help noticing the size of his p###s and enquired as to weather it was possible for him to enlarge his own."just tie a brick to it"explained the black man"and jump up and down for a while every night"
the following week they met again and when asked how it was going the white guy told him that it hadnt got any bigger but the colour was coming along nicely.😕