anyone got any good jokes.heres 1 i heard.
a woman puts an ad in the paper looking for a man.she lists all the usual attributes,athletic good looking and most of all,smart,a great lover.she managed to find a guy but when he turned ur at her doorshe was surprised to find a guy who had no arms or legs.Im looking for a great lover said the woman,how can you ba great lover?how do you think i rang the doorbell he replied.🙄
Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One!!! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY? Because no one else in this
house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the
bulb
is BURNED OUT!! They'd sit there in the dark for THREE DAYS before they
figured it out!! And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to
find the light bulbs despite the fact they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD
for
the past 13 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually
find
the bulbs 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the
STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT
WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE STUPID LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE
EVER
CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM
THE
PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT
WOULD
TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS DAMNED HOUSE!
I'm sorry. What was your question?
Originally posted by WeadleyHow many dyslexics does it take to change a bight lulb?
Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?
(You would be surprised how many people say 'I don't know'.)
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Two Arabs from the same small village in Egypt emigrate to Texas. When they arrive they have a wager: they will meet in exactly one year, and the winner will be the one who's made himself most American. The meeting happens, and the first says, "Waal, y'know, ah got up yesterday mornin', mowed the lawn, cleaned out the pool, took m'boy to a Little League game in the afternoon, and in the evenin' had the neighbours round for a cookout. We served 'em ribs and dawgs, and we drank longneck Buds, shoutin' 'Yee-haw!!' How 'bout you?"
"Fcuk off, towelhead," says the other.
Billy, a five year old boy, sees his mommy stepping out of the shower.
Pointing to her bush he asks his mommy what is that?
Embarrassed and covering herself, she says that’s just my washcloth honey, now run along.
A few days later and after she’s shaved herself, little Billy again catches her stepping out of the shower.
He exclaims Mommy, where’s your washcloth? Oh, she says, embarrassed and covering herself again, Mommy lost it. Little Billy says don’t worry mommy, I’ll help you find it, and runs off.
A few days later, little Billy runs in excitedly shouting, Mommy I found your washcloth, I found your washcloth! Really!? says his mom, and where is it? Little Billy exclaims the maid is upstairs washing Daddy’s face with it!