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Larkin Around

Larkin Around

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If, My Darling

If my darling were once to decide
Not to stop at my eyes,
But to jump, like Alice, with floating skirt into my head,

She would find no tables and chairs,
No mahogany claw-footed sideboards,
No undisturbed embers;

The tantalus would not be filled, nor the fender-seat cosy,
Nor the shelves stuffed with small-printed books for the Sabbath,
Nor the butler bibulous, the housemaids lazy:

She would find herself looped with the creep of varying light,
Monkey-brown, fish-grey, a string of infected circles
Loitering like bullies, about to coagulate;

Delusions that shrink to the size of a woman's glove
Then sicken inclusively outwards. She would also remark
The unwholesome floor, as it might be the skin of a grave,

From which ascends an adhesive sense of betrayal,
A Grecian statue kicked in the privates, money,
A swill-tub of finer feelings. But most of all

She'd be stopping her ears against the incessant recital
Intoned by reality, larded with technical terms,
Each one double-yolked with meaning and meaning's rebuttal:

For the skirl of that bulletin unpicks the world like a knot,
And to hear how the past is past and the future neuter
Might knock my darling off her unpriceable pivot.


Philip Larkin, 1950

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Originally posted by Bowmann
[b]If, My Darling

If my darling were once to decide
Not to stop at my eyes,
But to jump, like Alice, with floating skirt into my head,

She would find no tables and chairs,
No mahogany claw-footed sideboards,
No undisturbed embers;

The tantalus would not be filled, nor the fender-seat cosy,
Nor the shelves stuffed with small-printed books fo ...[text shortened]... ure neuter
Might knock my darling off her unpriceable pivot.


Philip Larkin, 1950[/b]
He's certainly no Andrew Dice Clay, but shows promise.

1 edit
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A Study of Reading Habits

When getting my nose in a book
Cured most things short of school,
It was worth ruining my eyes
To know I could still keep cool,
And deal out the old right hook
To dirty dogs twice my size.

Later, with inch-thick specs,
Evil was just my lark:
Me and my cloak and fangs
Had ripping times in the dark.
The women I clubbed with sex!
I broke them up like meringues.

Don't read much now: the dude
Who lets the girl down before
The hero arrives, the chap
Who's yellow and keeps the store
Seem far too familiar. Get stewed:
Books are a load of crap.


1960

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Originally posted by Bowmann
[b]A Study of Reading Habits

When getting my nose in a book
Cured most things short of school,
It was worth ruining my eyes
To know I could still keep cool,
And deal out the old right hook
To dirty dogs twice my size.

Later, with inch-thick specs,
Evil was just my lark:
Me and my coat and fangs
Had ripping times in the dark.
The women I cl ...[text shortened]... eeps the store
Seem far too familiar. Get stewed:
Books are a load of crap.


1960[/b]
Is this a sign of boredom?

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Originally posted by Bowmann
[b]A Study of Reading Habits

When getting my nose in a book
Cured most things short of school,
It was worth ruining my eyes
To know I could still keep cool,
And deal out the old right hook
To dirty dogs twice my size.

Later, with inch-thick specs,
Evil was just my lark:
Me and my coat and fangs
Had ripping times in the dark.
The women I cl ...[text shortened]... eeps the store
Seem far too familiar. Get stewed:
Books are a load of crap.


1960[/b]
Thanks for confirming our suspicions...

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Originally posted by chrissyb
Is this a sign of boredom?
I'm afraid it's far more insidious than that.

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Originally posted by chrissyb
Is this a sign of boredom?
No.

Disillusionment, disappointment.

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Originally posted by Suzianne
I'm afraid it's far more insidious than that.
Literacy. Sure sign of a twisted mind.

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Originally posted by Suzianne
I'm afraid it's far more insidious than that.
enlighten me! lol

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I like these poems. I will have to do some further research.

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Originally posted by Bowmann
[b]A Study of Reading Habits

When getting my nose in a book
Cured most things short of school,
It was worth ruining my eyes
To know I could still keep cool,
And deal out the old right hook
To dirty dogs twice my size.

Later, with inch-thick specs,
Evil was just my lark:
Me and my cloak and fangs
Had ripping times in the dark.
The women I c ...[text shortened]... eeps the store
Seem far too familiar. Get stewed:
Books are a load of crap.


1960[/b]
I liked this one better...

Thread 51448

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Originally posted by darvlay
I like these poems. I will have to do some further research.
🙂

It's unfortunate that a good many poems put onto the Web are riddled with errors.

Except the ones I post, of course 😏

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Originally posted by Bowmann
No.

Disillusionment, disappointment.
oh! i just thought you were posting these coz u had nothing better to do.

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Originally posted by chrissyb
oh! i just thought you were posting these coz u had nothing better to do.
You often make mistakes.

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Originally posted by Bowmann
You often make mistakes.
yeah i do.